Showgirls is the 232nd episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr and Dan Murrell. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the 1995 erotic drama film Showgirls. It was published on February 6, 2018 to coincide with the theatrical release of Fifty Shades Freed. It is 4 minutes 4 seconds long. It has been viewed around 1 million times.
Watch Honest Trailers - Showgirls on YouTube
"Do you like sex? Well, not for long." ~ Honest Trailers - Showgirls
Script[]
Before Fifty Shades of Grey, before easily accessible Internet porn, the sexiest thing you could see on a screen was probably not...
Nomi: (while having sex with James) I got my period.
James: Oh...
Nomi: See?
Showgirls
You know it as a cult classic... or just that movie you'd watch on mute as a kid. (shows the film being muted as Nomi strips in front of Zack) But in 1995, Showgirls was the biggest deal in Hollywood, as the first NC-17 film to get a wide release, penned by the highest-paid screenwriter (a Den of Geek article with the title "The fate of the $26m scripts Joe Eszterhas sold in the 90s" pops up), directed by the guy who made Basic Instinct (Paul Verhoeven), and hated by nearly everyone who was alive at the time.
Gene Siskel (Siskel & Ebert): They don't do anything original in the screenplay at all. I didn't care for the film.
Roger Ebert: Well, I didn't, either...
Nomi: You don't know sh*t!
You remember Elizabeth Berkley from Saved by the Bell; now she's all grown up, and she's bringing the same energy she brought to the "caffeine pills" episode.
Jessie Spano ("Jessie's Song"): (singing) I'm so excited! I'm so excited!
Watch her act balls-to-the-wall no matter what's happening in the scene; whether it's dancing (shows Nomi violently whipping around while giving James a lap dance), dancing even harder...
Marty: (while rehearsing pelvic thrusts with Nomi and some other dancers) Thrust it! Thrust it!
...eating (shows Nomi trying to pour ketchup from a bottle onto some French fries, only to toss them out in frustration), speaking...
Nomi: (after having her arm grabbed by a patron) F*ck off!
Patron: Whoa. Sorry.
...or just anything, really...
Nomi: Hey! (runs next to a speeding taxi to get it to stop)
...she'll chew the scenery like a rabid dog, then lick it afterwards for good measure.
Man: (as Nomi licks a stripper pole) Oh, lick it, lick it, lick it!
Woo-hoo! That cannot be sanitary!
Follow her insane journey from the seedy strip clubs at the bottom (Cheetah's Gentleman's Club), to the bizarre volcano acrobat shows at the top (Stardust Resort and Casino), with only one person crazy-dancing in her way: Cristal Connors. She's the top girl in Vegas, and the only thing she loves more than the spotlight... is dog food.
Cristal: I used to love Doggy Chow.
And the only thing she loves more than dog food... is cocaine. (montage of Cristal snorting cocaine)
Cristal: I'm doing some of the finest cocaine in the world, darlin'.
And the only thing she loves more than cocaine... is the word "darlin'". (montage of Cristal saying "darlin'") You're from the Valley, darlin'; you're not fooling anybody. (pulls up Gina Gershon's birthplace as the San Fernando Valley in California)
Do you like sex? Well, not for long. Thrill as Showgirls teases you with nudity, then beats you over the head with it until everyone has the appeal of raw meat, in this film that robs bewbs of all their mystery (shows a stripper repeatedly exposing her breasts and then covering them back up), treats sex like a cheap commodity to be bought and sold...
Cristal: I'll buy her for you.
...and depicts love as something that happens between a man and a particularly aggressive fish. (shows Nomi and Zack having rough sex in a pool) Be careful, kids; that's not how sex works, but it's exactly how you get a yeast infection.
So hike up your G-string, and dance like no one's watching...
Nomi: You can dance.
James: You can't.
...because this is either one of the most campy, shallow movies ever made...
Al: (to Nomi) Must be... weird not having anybody c*me on you.
...or it's a brilliant satire of show business that works on levels most people can't even comprehend.
Zack: I like a lot of different champagnes... but I always stick with champagne.
Mmm, naahh.
Starring: Elizabeth Bezerkly (Elizabeth Berkley as Nomi Malone/Polly Ann Costello); VaGina Gershon (Gina Gershon as Cristal Connors/Chrissie Lou Connors); That '90s Haircut (Kyle MacLachlan as Zack Carey); Tragic Mike (Glenn Plummer as James Smith); Joel Schumacher's Gotham (shows the Goddess dance revue); The Shape of Water (shows Nomi and Zack having rough sex in a pool again); and Being a Lady on the Internet.
Tony: Okay, show me your t*ts.
Strip Up 2: The Streets
Honest title for Showgirls - Strip Up 2: The Streets. Titles designed by Robert Holtby.
The only thing funnier than watching Showgirls? Watching with the isolated audio. (plays clips of Nomi and James dancing and Nomi performing a pole dance with music and background foley turned off)
Crowd: Yeah! Yeah! WHOOOOO! I love America!
Trivia[]
Honest Trailer Commentaries - Showgirls
- This is the third Honest Trailer to ever get age-restricted on YouTube, after X-Men: Days of Future Past in 2016, and The Room in 2017 respectively.
- Despite Screen Junkies humorous efforts to censor the film's nudity via pictures of Hal Rudnick's face applied to all nipples, the video was de-monetized by YouTube virtually immediately.
- The writers state they are given more creative freedom for 1 out of every 4 Honest Trailers. They knew this video would not be their highest viewed video ever, but they chose to do it anyway because they had such a strong comedic take on the film.
- Screen Junkies have produced Honest Trailers for another film about strippers, Magic Mike. Screen Junkies have also produced an Honest Trailer for the Paul Verhoeven film Robocop. See list of Honest Trailers for more.
Watch the full Honest Trailers Commentary on YouTube
Reception[]
Honest Trailers - Showgirls has a 98.1% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Perez Hilton praised the Honest Trailer for reminding viewers "just how vanilla Fifty Shades really is." Geek Tyrant said "This honest trailer will really explain every reason why this film is trash if you don't already know why." SlashFilm wrote that the Honest Trailer took "some cheap shots at the movie that is so over the top."
Production credits[]
Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - Showgirls
Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey
Title design by Robert Holtby
Producers - Dan Murrell, Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Max Dionne
Written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell
Edited by Kevin Williamsen and TJ Nordaker
External links[]
- The SHOWGIRLS Honest Trailer Is Just A Little Too Real - Geek Tyrant article
- “Showgirls” Finally Gets The Honest Trailer Treatment - TV Overmind article
- ‘Showgirls’ Honest Trailer: That Movie You Used to Watch on Mute as a Kid - SlashFilm article
- Finally! Our Favorite Movie EVER Gets An Honest Trailer! - Perez Hilton article