Honest Trailer - Snow White and the Huntsman is the 330th episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell, Danielle Radford and Lon Harris. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the two films in the action-adventure fantasy Huntsman series: Snow White and the Huntsman (2012) and The Huntsman: Winter’s War (2016). The video is 4 minutes 18 seconds long. It was published on January 14, 2020, to coincide with the theatrical release of Gretel & Hansel: A Grim Fairy Tale. The video has been viewed over 900,000 times.
Watch Honest Trailers - Snow White and the Huntsman on YouTube
Script
Before you skip Gretel & Hansel, return to a time when every studio was scrambling for a franchise and Universal Pictures wrote down the names of every public domain fairytale, then added "but gritty" to the end until something clicked.
Snow White but gritty err... I mean Snow White and the Huntsman and The Huntsman: Winter's War
You may think you know Snow White... You do. But this ain't your daddy's Disney story, because Snow White is a colorful fairy tale, and these movies are grayish nightmares. But that won't stop the movie from over-explaining the old Snow White lore; under-explaining newer, dumber Snow White lore; and doing a sequel full of even newer, dumber-er Huntsman stuff. OK, we get it: magic mirrors, poison apples, blah, blah, blah. You ever gonna tell us how birds poop fairies? <hurk!>
Strap in for the fantasy adventure you can make yourself if your D&D crew is on Xanax, and meet the ASMR of fantasy casts, like the Hunstman, Chris Hemsworth's earnest combo of William Wallace, Shrek, and Stewie Griffin.
Eric the Huntsman: Hwhy didn't you tell me? / Hwhat do you intend to do with them? / Hwhy? Who is she?
Brian Griffin: Why are you putting so much emphasis on the "H"?
Eric the Huntsman: Hwhat do you know of my wife?
Stewie Griffin: Cool Hwhip!
He'll team up with Snow White, a princess with three... whole... facial expressions: scare-tremble, smile-tremble, and back-of-head-tremble; his wife, whose death was a major part of his character development... until he dropped Snow White from the sequel and they needed a replacement love interest; Prince How Ya Like Them Apples (Snow White chokes on the poison apple); and the Dwarfs, who... Wait, is that Ian McShane? Toby Jones? What are you doing here? This was Bob Hoskins' last role? Man, I haven't seen actors this good do dwarf-face since Tiptoes.
Rolfe Bedalia: In a while, man, this ain't gonna seem like such a big deal.
Sally: Rolfe, don't. Don't, Rolfe!
Adrissi: You banged Sally! (slaps Rolfe hard)
Together, they'll fight Charlize Theron, who embodies the Eddie Redmayne SCREAM! (whisper) SCREAM! School of Villainy...
Queen Ravenna: A power you have WASTED ON NOTHING BUT CHEAP SENTIMENT! Did you not think I wanted a child?
...and her sister Freya, a lady with ice powers who hides away in a frozen castle because she couldn't let it go. Hmm, I wonder where they got that idea. Or that idea.
Muir: She is the one.
Or that idea. (shows clips comparing a horse drowning in mud with The NeverEnding Story) Or that idea.
Gus: I feel...
Or that idea! (shows clips comparing the Dwarfs getting trapped in a net with Willow) Or that idea. (shows a clip of Queen Ravenna emerging from a white liquid followed by a Got Milk? commercial)
So sit through two films made to please an executive who kept yelling, "Make a Lord of the Rings!" at his interns until it happened, but would just insult that franchise's fans with its paint-by-numbers CGI and battles, bore Game of Thrones fans with its steam-less romance, irritate Harry Potter fans with a boring, joyless world of magic, and disappoint Witcher fans for not including any coin-tossing bops. (singing) Toss a coin to your witcher! Doo-doo-de-doo-doo-doo-de--W-Wait, what was I talking about again? Oh yeah. These movies are terrible.
Starring: An Asgardian Axe Guardian (Chris Hemsworth as Eric the Hunstman); Princess Monotone (Kristen Stewart as Snow White); Bombspell (Charlize Theron as Queen Ravenna); Pixar's Brave-Heart (Jessica Chastain as Sara); Elsa... I Mean Freya! Queen Freya! Totally Different Character. (Emily Blunt as Queen Freya); The Pit of Despair... (Sam Spruell as Finn); Honey I Shrunk the Brits (Ian McShane as Beith, Johnny Harris as Quert, Bob Hoskins as Muir, Ray Winstone as Gort, Nick Frost as Nion, Eddie Marsan as Duir, and Toby Jones as Coll); Snow White Knight (Sam Claflin as William); and Little Nicky (Nion drunkenly holding a goblet).
Wack Mirror
The honest title for Snow White and the Huntsman was 'Wack Mirror' Titles designed by Robert Holtby.
Chris Obi doing a Liam Neeson impression: "What does the mirror show you? What do you see?"
Okay, how are you gonna have Liam Neeson do voice work and then never have him on screen?! Don't you Liam-bait me!
Trivia
Reception
Production Credits
Voice Narration: Jon Bailey aka Epic Voice Guy
Written by: Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell, Danielle Radford & Lon Harris
Produced by: Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell, & Max Dionne
Edited by: Kevin Williamsen
Post-Production Supervisor: Kevin Williamsen
Production Coordinator: Ryan O'Toole