Star Wars is the 126th episode in Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell, and Andy Signore. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the 1977 film Star Wars, also known as Star Wars: A New Hope. It was published on November 17, 2015, to coincide with the launch of the paid streaming service Screen Junkies Plus. It is 5 minutes 49 seconds long. It has been viewed over 7.2 million times.

Watch Honest Trailers - Star Wars on YouTube

"Relive all the parts your nostalgia goggles keep you from admitting were kinda dumb." ~ Honest Trailers - Star Wars

Script[edit | edit source]

From the once-masterful director who just couldn't leave well enough alone (George Lucas) comes the special effects blockbuster that transformed the entire film industry into an assembly line for special effects blockbusters and action figures: Star Wars. The first one. We are not calling it "A New Hope".

Ride along with some of film's most iconic characters, surrounded by film's most iconic props and designs, in some of the most iconic locations ever, to the point where every single person, place, or thing on screen has at least a 1,000-word Wikipedia article about it. Did you know that these guys (shows the alien musicians in the cantina) are called "Jizz-wailers"? Heh heh, wailers.

Meet heroes like Princess Leia, the most interesting of the two human females in the entire movie (Leia is shown next to Aunt Beru Lars); Han Solo, a real...Han Solo type; Obi-Wan, a wise Jedi master who doesn't remember the droid that saved his life several times (R2-D2) (Obi-Wan Kenobi: I don't seem to remember ever owning a droid.); the droids (C-3PO and R2-D2), conscious beings with feelings and free will who are bought and sold as slaves (C-3PO: Do you think they'll melt us down?...Please don't deactivate me!) -- hashtag droidlivesmatter, guys -- and Luke Skywalker, a whiny space brat. Hmmm, kinda reminds me of someone...

Anakin Skywalker: It's all Obi-Wan's fault!

Luke Skywalker: There's nothing I can do about it right now.

Anakin Skywalker: I hate them!

Luke Skywalker: But they're gonna kill her!

Anakin Skywalker: It's not fair.

Luke Skywalker: It just isn't fair.

Wait, so Hayden Christensen's acting choices were intentional? Whoa, mind blown.

Together, they'll go on one of the most epic space journeys of all time, that would've been totally unnecessary if anyone had email (Princess Leia: I have placed information vital to the survival of the rebellion into the memory systems of this R2 unit.), to take on the evil Empire, with an army of clumsy idiots, led by the most threatening villain of all time, Darth Vader...until you hear his original voice (Darth Vader (in David Prowse's voice): Tear this ship apart until you find those plans! And bring me all passengers, I want them ALIVE!).

Heh, not so epic now, are you, bro?

Return to a time when technology forced George Lucas to collaborate with other people, as he teams up with masters in sound design, score, editing, and practical visual effects to deliver a near-perfect movie that he's made progressively worse with each special edition, because if there's one thing the original Star Wars wasn't missing, it's poorly rendered, out-of-place CGI animals filling up every square inch of the frame!! (shows a CGI ronto walking across the foreground of a shot) Dude, come on, get out of the way! Ugh, I can't even see the movie!

Relive all the parts your nostalgia goggles keep you from admitting were kinda dumb, like this guy in a bargain bin werewolf mask, the lightsaber battle where two old geezers gently poke at each other, and the most over-the-top Freudian finale of all time.

Biggs Darklighter: Luke is the best bush pilot in the Outer Rim Territories.

Wedge Antilles: Look at the size of that thing!

Davish Krail: They came from behind.

General Dodonna: ...should be able to penetrate the outer defense.

Garven Dreis: Almost there...almost didn't go in.

Han Solo: You're all clear, kid! Now let's blow this thing and go home!

Biggs Darklighter: Luke, at that speed, will you be able to pull out in time?

Michael Scott: That's what she said! (laughs)

So whether you're an old man who can't move on from a 38-year-old movie for children, or a contrarian kid who thinks he's being edgy when he says the prequels were better, one thing is for sure: Han shot first.

Starring Skywalker's in Flight (Mark Hamill as Luke Skywalker), (BOOOO) (shows lasers flying down the chasm on the Death Star), Beats By Braid (Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia), Star Ford (Harrison Ford as Han Solo), Genuine Class (Alec Guinness as Obi-Wan Kenobi), Dog is My Co-Pilot (Peter Mayhew as Chewbacca), Weezer (David Prowse and James Earl Jones as Darth Vader), Porkins? Aw, That's Just Mean (William Hootkins as Jek Porkins), An Oscar and a Trash Can (Anthony Daniels as C-3PO and Kenny Baker as R2-D2), Satan? (Kardue'sai'Malloc), Blue Milk, and! (The Galactic Empire)

Honest title for Star Wars - Joseph Campbell's Star Wars. Title design by Robert Holtby.

Joseph Campbell's Star Wars

As bad as we all want a real lightsaber, let's be realistic: we'd cut off our own hand in a week.

 Trivia[edit | edit source]

Reception[edit | edit source]

Honest Trailers - Star Wars has a 97.5% approval rating from YouTube viewers. EW characterized the Honest Trailer as a "nostalgically fueled look back at the film ... as well as a less forgiving account of its lack of female characters and 'the lightsaber battle where two old geezers poke at each other.'” Cnet noted that "the parody trailer doesn't shy away from Star Wars controversies, including mention of how Princess Leia is one of only two human females in Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope." The cite also appreciated the many "Easter eggs dropped in the trailer, including Darth Vader's decidedly unintimidating original voice and references to the altered special edition films that are stocked with unnecessary CGI." CinemaBlend remarked that Star Wars remains a "triumph of cinema," despite the Honest Trailer's "nitpicks" and occasional "legitimate complaints." Time argued that the Honest Trailer offered a "new perspective" on the film. In the same article, Time also highlighted the Honest Trailer for pointing out exactly why George Lucas's later additions to the film are derided by fans, but also for reminding fans "that they’re often blinded by their love of the franchise."  

 Production Credits[edit | edit source]

Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - Star Wars

Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey

Title design by Robert Holtby

Series Created by Andy Signore & Brett Weiner

Written by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell, and Andy Signore

Edited by Tim Hayes, Anthony Falleroni, and Dan Murrell

External links [edit | edit source]

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