Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones is the 57th episode in Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Ian Weinreich, Gilli Nissim, Dan Murrell, and Andy Signore. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the second film in the Star Wars prequel trilogy, Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002). It was published on May 6, 2014, to coincide with the Star Wars holiday May the Fourth. It is 3 minutes 46 seconds long. It has been viewed over 9.9 million times.
"Experience an awkward, forced love story as soulless as the computer it was made in, with so many visual effects, the filmmakers didn't have any time left over for things like realistic choreography, realistic dialogue, or realistic Hayden Christensen acting." ~ Honest Trailers - Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones
From the man who created some of your fondest childhood memories, then took a huge dump on 'em (George Lucas), comes the prequel-sequel that proved Phantom Menace wasn't an accident (Nute Gunray: This isn't how it's supposed to be.): Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones.
Once again, the Republic is in turmoil. Watch as the chin-stroking Jedi are pulled into a war between a completely disposable droid army and a completely disposable clone army. Seriously, there's no reason to get emotionally involved in any of this crap.
Experience an awkward, forced love story as soulless as the computer it was made in, with so many visual effects, the filmmakers didn't have any time left over for things like realistic choreography, realistic dialogue (Anakin: I'm haunted by the kiss that you should never have given me.), or realistic Hayden Christensen acting.
Anakin: I don't like sand. It's course and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere. Not like you.
Come on, J. J., there is no way you can do any worse than this.
Natalie Portman and her space hair return as Senator Padmé Amidala. When two of the galaxy's best sharpshooting assassins try to kill her with a poisonous worm-pooping robot, two Jedi warriors will come to her aid: Obi-Wan Kenobi, a man forced to act opposite lifeless CGI characters like Hayden Christensen; and Anakin Skywalker, a rattailed a**hole who's been creepily stalking Padmé for the last decade.
Anakin: I've thought about her every day since we parted...I don't think she liked me watching her...I'd much rather dream about Padmé...(to Padmé) You're exactly the way I remember you in my dreams.
Padmé: Please don't look at me like that.
Anakin: Why not?
Padmé: It makes me feel uncomfortable.
(she walks away with Anakin watching her)
Anakin: Sorry, m'lady.
Ride along with these one-dimensional heroes in a movie so unevenly paced, you'll have to wait over an hour before you even meet the main villain. Instead, strap yourself in for even more of the stuff that made Phantom Menace so cold, lifeless, and boring, like people sitting and talking; standing and talking; walking and talking; one person standing and talking while another is sitting and talking; people standing and talking, then taking a seat for more talking, and a whole bunch of wipes. (shows a montage of camera wipes from the film while a song parody of "Yakety Sax" plays)
Starring Haydon't Act Again (Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker), Ewan a Bad Movie (Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan Kenobi), Yogurt (Frank Oz as the voice of Yoda), M. Bison (Jay Laga'aia as Gregar Typho), Nipply Portman (Natalie Portman as Padmé Amidala), Laurence Fishburne (Samuel L. Jackson as Mace Windu), Definitely Not the Emperor (Ian McDiarmid as Chancellor Palpatine), Dickhead (Silas Carson as Ki-Adi-Mundi), Cthulu (Zachariah Jensen and Daniel Zizmor as Kit Fisto), Darth Saruman (Christopher Lee as Count Dooku), and Jango Unbrained (Temuera Morrison as Jango Fett).
Star Wars Episode 11: Attack of the Clones.
So, correct me if I'm wrong here, but the clones never actually attack anyone in this movie, so why the f*** would you call this movie "Attack of the Clones"?!
- Screen Junkies have produced Honest Trailer for every film in the Star Wars film series: The Phantom Menace, Revenge of the Sith, A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, The Force Awakens, Rogue One, The Last Jedi, Solo: A Star Wars Story and Star Wars Spinoffs.
- An Honest Trailer Commentary for this episode was recorded and was available on the Screen Junkies Plus until the website/app was discontinued. Screen Junkies don't currently have any way of releasing the video.
Honest Trailers - Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones has a 97.8% approval rating from YouTube viewers. The Mary Sue said that the Honest Trailer was "the most enjoyable this movie has ever been." Entertainment Buddha highlighted Screen Junkies criticisms of Hayden Christiansen's performing, writing "Attack of the Clones is full of items to pick on, but the Junkies set their sites [sic] solely on Hayden Christensen’s piss poor attempt at playing Anakin Skywalker." IndieWire wrote that the film was a "pretty easy movie to take shots at. Featuring an overload of special effects, awful dialogue, wooden acting and a plot we can’t even remember, it takes the thread of Anakin turning to the dark side and makes it as boring as possible." Slash Film also agreed that the film was "ripe for parody" and the Honest Trailer was "hilarious" - but also noted that "it doesn’t touch the Red Letter Media review of the film, but at 3 and a half minutes instead of 90, it gets the job done."
Production Credits Edit
Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey
Series Created by Andy Signore & Brett Weiner
Edited by Dan Murrell
- LOL: ‘Star Wars Episode II – Attack of the Clones’ Honest Trailer - Slash Film article
- Honest Trailers Takes a Look at Attack of the Clones, Makes Us Hate it All Over Again - The Mary Sue article
- ‘Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones’ Gets An Honest Trailer, Reopens Old Wounds - Uproxx article
- Honest Trailer for STAR WARS: EPISODE II - ATTACK OF THE CLONES - Geek Tyrant article
- Watch: Honest Trailer For Cold, Lifeless And Boring ‘Star Wars: Episode II — Attack of the Clones’ - IndieWire article
- Honest Trailer For Attack Of The Clones Hits Hayden Hard - Entertainment Buddha article