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The Dark Knight Rises is the 14th episode in Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Andy Signore, Brett Weiner and Dan Perrault. It was the final Honest Trailer narrated entirely by Gannon Nickell. In addition to Nickell, it featured on-screen appearances by Mike Stoklasa and Jay Bauman of RedLetterMedia. It parodies the 2012 DC superhero film The Dark Knight Rises. It was published on December 4, 2012, to coincide with the film's release on home video and Blu-ray. It is 4 minutes and 58 seconds long. In the 6 years since its initial publication, the trailer has been viewed over 12 million times.

Watch Honest Trailer - The Dark Knight Rises on YouTube

"A nearly three-hour Batman movie where Batman only shows up for about 33 minutes." ~ Honest Trailers - The Dark Knight Rises

ScriptEdit

From director Christopher Nolan comes the obligatory finale to his Dark Knight trilogy that clearly peaked with the Joker: The Dark Knight Rises, the epic final chapter that'll mildly entertain you when you're watching it, but will ultimately anger and disappoint you when you really start to think about it.

Revisit the iconic Bruce Wayne, a man who turned the pain of his parents' death into a superhero but, for some reason, mopes around for eight years after his sort-of girlfriend dies. Suit up as he spends the first 45 minutes hobbling around on canes, getting knocked over easily, growing a gross depression beard, and be told that his body is in complete shambles, even though, in the entire trilogy, he's only clocked in maybe a year and a half as the Batman.

But chaos will arrive in the form of Bane, a villain who no one can fully understand (shows clips of Bane speaking incomprehensibly), prompting Mope Man to unretire and plop on a magic knee brace that'll instantly cure him so he can take Bane head-on for a few minutes, until he's crippled again for a huge chunk of the movie, leaving this mumbling warlord to fulfill his overly complicated plot of terrorizing Gotham for three pointless months, which prompts only one riot and zero gridlock. (shows clips of empty streets in Gotham) Seriously, where is everybody?

Get ready for a nearly three-hour Batman movie where Batman only shows up for about 33 minutes, and when he does show up, he's so terrible, he reveals his secret identity to complete strangers; never conducts background checks on his maids (shows Selina Kyle leaping out a window), or his board members (shows Miranda Tate stabbing Batman); uses ineffective gadgets; stands atop random buildings that are way too dangerous to balance on; and wastes several hours painting a bridge in gasoline (shows a flaming Batman logo appearing on a bridge).

A story so large in scale, it was partly shot in IMAX, which becomes super-distracting when it's constantly changing aspect ratios; and a film so poorly paced, it moves slow for two hours, then randomly zooms through three months of time without telling the audience, forcing this completely rushed ending (shows clips from the ending of the film) that'll leave you asking questions like:

Mike Stoklasa: Why are the criminals constantly hitting Batman with their guns instead of shooting him?

Jay Bauman: Why would the CIA let masked men onto their plane without checking who they were first?

Mike Stoklasa: How did Bane know about the existence and the exact location of Batman's secret armory, especially after Lucius said it was off the books?

Gannon Nickell: And why has no one stumbled upon his huge-ass airplane?

Jay Bauman: How did Bane's henchmen hide motorcycles inside the Stock Exchange?

Mike Stoklasa: How is it possible that Bruce Wayne completely healed his broken back in less than three months? Didn't he need a...doc-tor?

Gannon Nickell: How did Batman get from the hole in the middle of nowhere into the quarantined Gotham without any money or equipment?

Jay Bauman: Why would they send the entire Gotham City police force into the sewers all at the exact same time?

Mike Stoklasa: If Tamelor (Miranda Tate) knew he was Batman, why did she let him wander off with Lucius? Why didn't she just kill him when she had the chance?

Jay Bauman: In fact, why didn't she just detonate the bomb right then?

Gannon Nickell: And why does Batman talk to Catwoman in his Batman voice when she knows he's Bruce Wayne?

Jay Bauman: How come everybody in Gotham could figure out that Bruce Wayne was Batman except for Commissioner Gordon?

Mike Stoklasa: Even the character with Down syndrome played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt figured it out. Why did Bruce Wayne show up in a French cafe after being pronounced dead? Think that would've attracted the attention of the media.

Gannon Nickell: How did Batman eject and swim nine miles to survive if he only had five seconds left on the bomb?

Jay Bauman: Didn't anyone in Gotham think it was weird that Batman and Bruce Wayne both died on the exact same day?

Mike Stoklasa: Bruce Wayne was Batman?!

Gannon Nickell: Starring The Cast of Inception (Marion Cotillard as Miranda Tate/Talia al Ghul, Michael Caine as Alfred Pennyworth, Cillian Murphy as Jonathan Crane/Scarecrow, Joseph Gordon-Levitt as John Blake, and Tom Hardy as Bane), Princ-Ass Diaries (Anne Hathaway as Selina Kyle/Catwoman), Kristen Stewart's Mouth (Christian Bale as Bruce Wayne/Batman), My Cocaine (Michael Caine as Alfred Pennyworth), Bruce Willis (Joseph Gordon-Levitt as John Blake), and Bane Boobs (Tom Hardy as Bane).

The Dark Knight Rises.

Ughhh, I'm pretty worried about Man of Steel now.

Trivia Edit

Reception Edit

Honest Trailers - The Dark Knight Rises has an 93.6% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Slash Film wrote that the Honest Trailer was both "hilarious and brutal" and it re-opened "old wounds" that affected the geek community around the theatrical release of the film. Cinema Blend said some of the flaws that the Honest Trailer highlights were obvious, (e.g. "Bane's plot is ridiculously overwrought"), but others were insightful (e.g. "why would Batman spend all that time putting a gasoline bat symbol on a building?"). EW wrote that the Honest Trailer was "pretty much a devastating compendium of every plot hole and loose end in the movie." Collider noted "the trailer takes aim at a few of the larger criticisms of the trilogy closer, some more warranted than others.  They sharply tackle how weak of a Batman/Bruce Wayne story the film is and have their go at Bane’s dastardly plans.  It’s all in good fun, though, and there are a couple of solid jokes to be found thanks to the guys at Red Letter Media."

Production credits Edit

DarkKnightRises

Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - The Dark Knight Rises

Series Created & Directed by Andy Signore & Brett Weiner

Executive Producer Mitch Rotter

Written by Andy Signore, Brett Weiner & Dan Perrault

Edited by Andy Signore

Voiceover Narration by Gannon Nickell

External links Edit

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