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The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is the 44th episode in Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell, Ian Weinreich, and Andy Signore. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the 2012 fantasy film The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. It was published on December 10, 2013, to coincide with the theatrical release of the film's sequel The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug. It is 4 minutes and 14 seconds long. It has been viewed over 7 million times.

Watch Honest Trailers - The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey on YouTube

"A three-hour-long prologue for a sequel that looks far more interesting, but also just as unnecessary; shot on location in some of New Zealand's most beautiful greenscreen studios and filmed in such high definition, it made audiences want to hurl." ~ Honest Trailers - The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

ScriptEdit

From the acclaimed director of the Lord of the Rings trilogy (Peter Jackson), who really should've moved on by now; and the money-grubbing studio who's continuing the awful trend of splitting one short book into multiple unnecessary movies (Warner Bros.), comes the first installment of a trilogy that should really only have one installment:

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Forget the days of good stand-alone movies and settle in for a three-hour-long prologue for a sequel that looks far more interesting (The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug), but also just as unnecessary; shot on location in some of New Zealand's most beautiful greenscreen studios and filmed in such high definition, it made audiences want to hurl.

Return to Middle-earth, and stay there way too long, for a story that takes over forty minutes to even get started, and watch as a movie tries its damndest to try to trick you into thinking it's The Lord of the Rings, but isn't, featuring another fellowship (Gandalf, Bilbo, and the Dwarves), another spooky mountain (The Lonely Mountain), another eagle rescue, the Ring, New Zealand, Gollum, and these Lord of the Rings characters that weren't even in the book (Saruman, Galadriel, Frodo, and Lindir). But instead of saving the entire world from evil, this time they're saving one city from Smog (Bofur: Smaug.)...Smay-aug (Gandalf: Smaug.)...Smo-agg (Old Bilbo: Smaug.)...whatever.

Meet thirteen interchangeable dwarves: Thorin, Borin (Bofur), Dorin (Kili), Dora (Dwalin), uhhh, Bro-Brombor...? (Bombur)...Nosy (Balin)...uhhh, pass (Oin)...skip (Gloin)...next (Bifur)...ughhh (Nori)...oh, ah, oh, look, Gandalf.

Together, they'll team up with a random unprepared hobbit (Bilbo), who steals from the mentally handicapped (Gollum), for yet another Middle-earth adventure full of even more walking...and singing, or get the extended edition to see even more singing and wandering around. (shows clips of Bilbo wandering aimlessly; the narrator snores) Oh, sorry, dozed off for a second there. Man, I can't believe there's gonna be two more of these.

Prepare for a new movie trilogy adapted from a 300-page book that'll ultimately be just as long as the last trilogy, which was adapted from three 400-page books; and experience a movie that has a three-hour runtime, but so little story, you can basically sum it up like this:

Thorin: Dragon.

Gandalf: Run!!

Gollum: Gollum.

Gandalf: Lonely Mountain.

(shows the credit "Directed by Peter Jackson")

So instead of Return of the King's eight different endings, watch a movie that doesn't even have one, but you won't even mind since it means you can finally go home and watch Game of Thrones.

Bilbo: I do believe the worst is behind us.

You said it, buddy.

Starring Dildo Daggins (Martin Freeman as Bilbo Baggins), Your Parents' Favorite Band (The Eagles), Birdsh*t Face (Sylvester McCoy as Radagast the Brown), Mama June (Barry Humphries as the Great Goblin), Honey Boo Boo (Kiran Shah as Goblin Scribe), Hobos (Dwarves), Not Viggo Mortensen (Richard Armitage as Thorin Oakenshield), Those Rock People from He-Man (Stone Giants), Precious (Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire) (Andy Serkis as Gollum), God of War (Manu Bennett as Azog the Defiler), Galargamel (Cate Blanchett as Galadriel), and Straight Dumbledore (Ian McKellan as Gandalf the Grey).

Honest Trailers - The Hobbit An Unexpected Journey Open Invideo 3-45 screenshot

The honest title for The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey was "The Hobbit: A Totally Expected Letdown."

The Hobbit: A Totally Expected Letdown

(shows Smaug attacking Erebor) Look, I know there's a dragon there and everything, but couldn't the eagles have dropped them off a little bit closer to the mountain? Lazy birds.

Trivia Edit

Reception Edit

Honest Trailers - The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey has an 96.4% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Geek Tyrant wrote that they liked Peter Jackson's films, but said the Honest Trailer was "pretty funny." JOE wrote that the Honest Trailer was "a bit harsh, but funny all the same." The Hollywood Reporter found the Honest Trailer notable for pointing out the film has "plenty of singing and wandering around lavish green screens." In the same article, they highlighted the Honest Trailer's line, "Instead of 'Return of the King's' eight different endings, watch a movie that doesn't even have one."

Production credits Edit

HobbitUnexpectedJourney

Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Directed by Andy Signore

Series Created by Andy Signore & Brett Weiner

Episode Written by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell, Ian Weinreich, and Andy Signore

Edited by Dan Murrell

Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey

External links Edit

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