The Martian is the 132nd episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell, Joe Starr and Andy Signore. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the 2015 science-fiction film The Martian. It was published on January 5, 2016, to coincide with the film's release on home video and Blu-ray. It is 4 minutes 57 seconds long. It has been viewed over 6.0 million times.
Watch Honest Trailers - The Martian on YouTube
"So he can basically do everything? Ha! Man, suck on that, Neil deGrasse Tyson!" ~ Honest Trailers - The Martian
Script[]
He's been rescued from World War II. (Saving Private Ryan) He's been rescued from the Gulf War. (Courage Under Fire) He's been rescued from the Middle East. (Syriana) Twice. (Green Zone) He's been recovered from space. (Interstellar) More space. (Elysium) Even more space. (Titan A.E.) And saved from his terrible Boston childhood. (Good Will Hunting)
Dr. Sean Maguire (Good Will Hunting): It's not your fault.
Will Hunting: I know.
Now, Matt Damon will need to be saved... again... in space... again.
The Martian
Blast off to the Red Planet with the Ares III, and a crew of veteran movie scientists, including... this scientist from Interstellar (shows Jessica Chastain as Murphy "Murph" Cooper), this scientist from Interstellar (shows Matt Damon as Dr. Mann), this scientist from Fant4stic (shows Kate Mara as Sue Storm), and these two Marvel sidekicks. (shows Sebastian Stan as James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes/Winter Soldier and Michael Peña as Luis) But when their mission is threatened by an inciting incident, Matt Damon will be left behind to survive in a barren wasteland, with only his wits to guide him... and tons of stuff that's already lying around from other Mars missions, like... a space habitat, a car, an extra car he can use for parts, a camera robot, pressurized Saran Wrap, and an entire spaceship that can get him off the planet. Come on; all Tom Hanks needed was a volleyball and an ice skate. (shows Chuck Noland using a rock and an ice skate to extract an infected tooth in Cast Away)
Travel to a world where NASA is suddenly super popular and fully funded, to meet potty-mouthed astronaut Mark Watney.
Watney: (exhales) F*ck you, Mars. / I'm gonna have to science the sh*t out of this.
He's a skilled botanist...
Watney: Mars... will come to fear... my botany powers.
...who must survive the Red Planet on his own, using only his specialized knowledge of plant biology to perform... emergency self-surgery, chemical engineering, high-tech space repairs, alternate numerical systems...
Watney: Hexadecimals to the rescue.
...spaceship construction, and WALL-E-ing. So he can basically do everything? Ha! Man, suck on that, Neil deGrasse Tyson!
Climb aboard for a two-hour NASA commercial -- That really wants you to know that scientists are just as cool as superheroes!
Watney: I'd get to fly around like Iron Man.
-- where astronaut Matt Damon struggles to survive the harsh Mars elements, by Periscoping everything he's doing...
Watney: I know what I'm gonna do.
...everything he's thinking...
Watney: I do like the way it sounds. [...] I'm not gonna tell them that.
...everything that happens to him...
Watney: So, yeah... I blew myself up. / --my balls are frozen.
...everything he's eating...
Watney: I'm gonna dip this potato in some crushed Vicodin.
...and every song he listens to.
Watney: I'm definitely gonna die up here... if I have to listen to any more godawful disco music.
Man, if I wanted an audiobook, I could've just, you know, bought the audiobook.
Strap in for a space adventure filled with edge-of-your-seat realism, like... math...
Watney: --let's do the math. [...] --31 sols. For redundancy, they sent 68 sols worth of food. That's for six people. So for just me, that's gonna last 300 sols, which I figure I can stretch to 400 if...
...more math...
Lewis: "1,200 kilometers in diameter, bearing 24.41 degrees." / --8,600 newtons?
Beck: 7,500.
Lewis: --126 square meters of soil.
...and even... more... math.
Watney: --35 kilometers...
Sanders: 912 sols...
Kapoor: --200 sols.
Sanders: Sol 409?
Kapoor: --609.
Watney: 26 characters plus a question card into 360 gives us 13 degrees of arc.
Whoa; science fact makes science fiction... kind of boring.
Starring: The Maaahtian (Matt Damon as Dr. Mark Watney); Muuuurph (Jessica Chastain as Commander Melissa Lewis); Gilly (Kristen Wiig as Annie Monstrose); Abed (Donald Glover as Rich Purnell); Bore-omir (Sean Bean as Mitch Henderson); Chiwetel E...jio-a-for-ee. Chiwel... Chiwa-Chiwate.. E-Ej... Aw, f... Man, I give up! (Chiwetel Ejiofor as Vincent Kapoor); and Meth Damon (shows Watney staring at his scarred skin and yellowing teeth in a mirror).
Cast Away in Space
Honest title for The Martian - Cast Away in Space. Title design by Robert Holtby.
So, could he turn off all those cameras when he needed to, you know, do... stuff... to himself? 'Cause, I mean... he was up there a long time, right?
Watney: F*ck.
Trivia[]
- Even though there are four credited writers on this Honest Trailer, it was actually a solo writing effort from Joe Starr. It was written over the end-of-year holidays when the regular writing team was on vacation. Dan and Andy were available for feedback, but didn't actually write on the video. According to Joe, Dan liked his draft, but Andy didn't and thought Joe went too easy on the movie. Joe made the draft more brutal, but Dan thought it was too harsh. Joe had to find a happy medium. Listen to Joe explain more in the Get Your Geek On podcast.
- Screen Junkies have also created Honest Trailers for several other space films including Gravity, Interstellar, Aliens and Alien: Covenant. See list of Honest Trailers for more.
- An Honest Trailer Commentary for this episode was recorded and was available on the Screen Junkies Plus until the website/app was discontinued. Screen Junkies don't currently have any way of releasing the video.
Reception[]
Honest Trailers - The Martian has a 95.9% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Slash Film noted that the Honest Trailer didn't have much material "to poke fun at other than the characters themselves." BGR described the Honest Trailer as "hilarious" and appreciated the digs at all the math in the movie and the fact that Matt Damon needs to be rescued yet again. EW said the Screen Junkies "humorously deconstructs the film" and commended the poke at Damon always being rescued. The Nerdist wrote this Honest Trailer was "especially cutting as it sheds light on flaws we often willfully ignore in sci-fi movies." In the same article, The Nerdist praised the Honest Trailers series more generally, writing, "We’ll never tire of the irreverent humor of the Screen Junkies and their Honest Trailers ability to point out repetitive plot points, grossly overused movie tropes and a more than a fair share of intelligent film critique."
Production credits[]
Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - The Martian
Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey
Title design by Robert Holtby
Series Created by Andy Signore & Brett Weiner
Written by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell, Joe Starr, and Andy Signore
Edited by Anthony Falleroni
External links[]
- The Martian’s Honest Trailer: Here’s Another ‘Save Matt Damon’ Movie; This One’s Just Overly Complicated and Set in Space - Vulture article
- ‘The Martian’ Honest Trailer: Matt Damon Periscopes Everything on Mars - Slash Film article
- The honest trailer ‘The Martian’ deserves - BGR article
- The Martian honest trailer reminds us how often Matt Damon needs rescuing - EW article
- THE MARTIAN’S HONEST TRAILER: THE MANY RESCUES OF MATT DAMON - Nerdist article