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The Oscars (2017) is an episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell and Andy Signore. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the nine films nominated for Best Picture at the 89th Academy Awards: La La Land, Moonlight, Hidden Figures, Manchester by the Sea, Arrival, Hacksaw Ridge, Hell or High Water, Fences, and Lion. It was published on February 21, 2017 to coincide with the 2017 Academy Awards ceremony. It is 5 minutes 56 seconds long. It has been viewed over 3.8 million times.

Watch Honest Trailers - The Oscars (2017) on YouTube

"Hollywood Hand Job." ~ Honest Trailers - The Oscars (2017)

ScriptEdit

It's that time of the year, when L.A.'s pretty narcissists use their awards to take shots at D.C.'s ugly narcissists, as these nine films compete for Hollywood's highest honor, because back when it was just five, the Academy couldn't trick you into rooting for something you actually saw. This year's honest nominees for Best Picture are:

ArrivalEdit

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Honest title for Arrival - Squid Words. Title design by Robert Holtby.

From Denise Villa-new-vay (Denis Villeneuve) comes Amy Adams' second movie this year about trying to relate to an alien no one gets along with (shows a clip of Superman and Lois Lane from Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice) that will have audiences trying to wrap their mind around what they just saw, because they're pretty sure the part about the Chinese guy (General Shang) makes absolutely no sense.

Squid Words

LionEdit

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Honest title for Lion - If You Say You've Seen This, You're Probably Lyin'. Titles designed by Robert Holtby.

From first-time director Garth Davis comes the film about the kid who...goes to India with Nicole Kidman, I think, and finds a lion or something...? Oh, right, it's the one with Dev Patel. I, I hear it's really good, but honestly, I've only seen the trailer. They've got to stop releasing all the Oscar movies at the same time!

If You Say You've Seen This, You're Probably Lyin

Hell or High WaterEdit

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Honest title for Hell or High Water - Hell, It's a High Honor Just To Be Nominated. Title design by Robert Holtby.

Return to west Texas for that one grizzled cowboy voice Jeff Bridges does (shows clips of Jeff Bridges' grizzled voice in Hell or High Water, True Grit, and R.I.P.D.), for a film that's so entertaining, straightforward, and unpretentious, it has no chance of actually winning Best Picture.

Hell, It's a High Honor Just to Be Nominated

Hidden FiguresEdit

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Honest title for Hidden Figures - Diary of a Black Math Woman. Title design by Robert Holtby.

Witness the incredible untold story of the hidden contributions black women made to the space program, whose brilliance was no match for the stubborn prejudice of the times. But don't worry, it won't make white people feel too bad about themselves. (shows Al Harrison knocking down a sign reading "Colored Ladies Room") See? Kevin Costner's one of the good ones.

Diary of a Black Math Woman

Manchester by the SeaEdit

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Honest title for Manchester by the Sea - Manchesta by the Feckin' Sea. Title design by Robert Holtby.

From the writer of The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle (Kenneth Lonergan)...wait, really?...comes the exact opposite of that (Lee Chandler: I swear to God I'm gonna knock your f*cking block off.), as you take a nonstop grief train to Sadsville led by a hard-drinking, irritable Boston man (Lee Chandler) living in the shadow of his more successful older brother (Joe Chandler). Gee, wonder how Casey Affleck managed to get into character (shows a clip of Ben and Casey Affleck in Good Will Hunting).

Manchesta by the Feckin' Sea

MoonlightEdit

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Honest title for Moonlight - All of the Oscar Things. Titles designed by Robert Holtby.

Follow along on the poetic unfolding of a life, beautifully directed by Barry Jenkins, as this young (a check mark appears), black (another check mark appears) gay man (another check mark appears) struggles to escape from poverty (another check mark appears) and drug addiction (another check mark appears), told across three decades (another check mark appears), based on a play (another check mark appears) based on the life story of its author (another check mark appears). So, yeah, I'd say it's nominated for an Oscar.

All of the Oscar Things

FencesEdit

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Honest title for Fences - Actors. Titles designed by Robert Holtby.

Watch what's clearly a stage play Denzel Washington decided to film, because aside from the garbage truck at the beginning, they're just talking in a house the entire time, as these actors bravely explore how much acting you can fit into one movie, featuring loud acting...

Troy Maxson: You best be making sure they're doing right by you!

...nuanced acting...

Troy Maxson (quietly): Decided seventeen years ago that boy wasn't gonna get involved in no sports.

...and snot acting.

Rose Maxson (as mucus runs out of her nose): Don't you think I ever wanted other things?! Don't you think I had dreams and hopes?! What about my life?! What about me?!

Actors

Hacksaw RidgeEdit

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Honest title for Hacksaw Ridge - War and Pieces. Title design by Robert Holtby.

Enjoy the brief window of time before Mel Gibson burns his bridge to Hollywood again, as he follows up the Jesus movie he filled with blood and gore (The Passion of the Christ) with another story about a historical pacifist (Desmond Doss) filled with tons of blood and gore. (shows a soldier sitting up in front of another soldier, with both screaming at each other before being brutally killed by gunfire) Was that necessary? (gulps) I think I'm gonna puke.

War and Pieces

La La LandEdit

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Honest title for La La Land - Hollywood Hand Job. Title design by Robert Holtby.

Experience a gorgeous ode to the musicals of cinema's past that earned nominations for Best Picture; Best Actor; Best Actress; Best Director...nice; Best Cinematography...sure; Best Screenplay...? Really?...Best Song...uh, okay, I get that one; Best Sound Mixing...(gags) fine; Best Song...again? Come on. Did nobody watch Sing Street?...Best Costume Design? What the (snorts)...? They're just wearing clothes. (sighs) Man, the Academy just can't resist a movie about how special the movies are, can they?!

Hollywood Hand Job

Those are your nominees for Best Picture, and since we bet there will be a million speeches about Trump at the Oscars, we thought we'd give him equal time to respond...via Twitter...in our "Starring" section.

Donald Trump (shown as Twitter comments): Starring The Highly Overrated Meryl Streep (as Florence Foster Jenkins in Florence Foster Jenkins); Mar-A-Lago Ali (Mahershala Ali as Juan in Moonlight); Bad Hombres (Chris Pine as Toby Howard and Ben Foster as Tanner Howard in Hell or High Water); Potential Terrorist (Sunny Pawar as Young Saroo Brierley in Lion); Immigrants (shows the aliens from Arrival); Uh, a 6 At Best (Emma Stone as Mia Dolan in La La Land); Ehhh, 7 (Taraji P. Henson as Katherine Goble Johnson in Hidden Figures); 8 (Natalie Portman as Jackie Kennedy in Jackie); Now That's a Real American, Thank You for Your Service in the Braveheart War (Mel Gibson); That's Spiderman, I Know That One. We're Both from Queens. Smart Kid (Andrew Garfield as Desmond Doss in Hacksaw Ridge); OJ Simpson, Great Guy. Great Golfer (shows a clip of O.J. Simpson in court from O.J.: Made in America); Alternative Facts (shows a poster for Hidden Figures); Sad! (Casey Affleck as Lee Chandler in Manchester by the Sea); Sad!! (Michelle Williams as Randi Chandler in Manchester by the Sea); Sad!!! (Lucas Hedges as Patrick Chandler in Manchester by the Sea); Sad!!!! (Viola Davis as Rose Maxson in Fences); Sad!!!!! (Dev Patel as Saroo Brierley in Lion).

Jon Bailey: The Oscars 2017. Thanks for stopping by, Mr. President.

Donald Trump: Fake views. You have fake views. More like 'Not Honest Trailers'. Low energy.

Jon Bailey: Wow, Amy Adams got snubbed this year, and she's 0 for 5 when she is nominated. What's an actor gotta do to finally win an Oscar? (shows Leonardo DiCaprio cauterizing his wounded neck with a flaming stick in The Revenant) Oh, right. Never mind.

Trivia Edit

ScreenJunkies LIVE Awards Show Watch Along (2017)!

ScreenJunkies LIVE Awards Show Watch Along (2017)!

  • An Honest Trailer Commentary for this episode was recorded and was available on the Screen Junkies Plus until the website/app was discontinued. Screen Junkies don't currently have any way of releasing the video.

 Reception Edit

Honest Trailers - The Oscars (2017) has a 97.9% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Variety noted that "the ever-clever Honest Trailers produced by Screen Junkies just wouldn’t be the same without an Oscar installment." In addition, Variety appreciated the video's poke about all the films being released at the same time, and the reason offered to explain why To Hell of High Water had no shot of winning the award. Screen Rant observed "with only a short amount of time spend on each title, the Honest Trailer focuses on one or two elements of each movie" but that the video shows the "humorous side of this year's Oscar ceremony." Several sites, including Variety and Mashable also found the video notable for mocking Donald Trump.

Production credits Edit

Oscars2017

Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - The Oscars (2017)

President Trump voiced by Brock Baker

Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey

Title design by Robert Holtby

Series Created by Andy Signore & Brett Weiner

Executive Producer - Andy Signore

Producers - Dan Murrell, Spencer Gilbert, Michael Bolton, Christina Kline

Written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell & Andy Signore

Edited by Kevin Williamsen and TJ Nordaker

External links Edit

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