The Oscars (2021) is an episode of the Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Danielle Radford and Lon Harris. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the eight films nominated for Best Picture at the 93rd Academy Awards: The Trial of the Chicago 7, Judas and the Black Messiah, Mank, Sound of Metal, Nomadland, Promising Young Woman, Minari, and The Father. It was published on April 13, 2021, in anticipation of the 2021 Oscars ceremony. It is 8 minutes and 16 seconds long. It has been viewed over 100,000 times.
Script[]
It's time once again for the Oscars, the annual award show for the year's best movies... in a year where no one could go to the movies. But since nothing can stop Hollywood's biggest stars from giving awards to each other, here are your honest nominees for this year's Best Picture.
The Trial of the Chicago 7[]
Prepare for a film about injustice, political activism...
Protesters: The whole world is watching!
...and social movements that couldn't have come at a more timely moment: Oscar season...
Lee Weiner: This is the Academy Awards of protests, and as far as I'm concerned, it's an honor just to be nominated.
...in Aaron Sorkin's first film to give the finger to historical truth since... well, his last four movies (shows posters for Molly's Game, Steve Jobs, Moneyball, and The Social Network), featuring Borat's wackiest accent yet...
Abbie Hoffman: Over the course of ten days, the government called 37 witnesses.
...Eddie Redmayne's third or fourth wackiest accent yet...
Tom Hayden: Whether we're given permits or not... we're coming.
...and the guy from Succession doing an impression of Cheech and Chong at the same time.
Jerry Rubin: It's a Tom Collins. I-I know it's kind of a country club drink, but they're delicious.
So get inspired for more of the fast-paced Sorkin-y speechifying that could maybe almost change someone's mind about something, if they were already open to the ideas in the first place and you caught them on a good day.
The honest title for The Trial of the Chicago 7 was ‘Chicken Soup for the Liberal Soul’. Titles designed by Robert Holtby.
Chicken Soup for the Liberal Soul
Judas and the Black Messiah[]
Experience the moving story of Black Panther leader Fred Hampton... 's snitch, in an intimate portrayal of the relationship between this backstabbing bullsh*tter and Jesse Plemons' latest white boy you don't want to mess with, leaving audiences with about as much knowledge of the Black Panther movement as Forrest Gump...
Forrest Gump: Sorry I had a fight in the middle of your Black Panther party.
...that still definitely deserves a Best Picture nomination, but it's got to sting that Da 5 Bloods got snubbed while Spike Lee's literal film student got in. (shows Shaka King's Wikipedia page, highlighting how he studied under Spike Lee) You do know you can honor more than one Black director at a time, right?
The honest title for Judas and the Black Messiah was ‘At Least Nominate Delroy Lindo You Cowards’. Titles designed by Robert Holtby.
At Least Nominate Delroy Lindo You Cowards
Mank[]
(in an old-timey announcer's voice) From the colossal castles atop Cahuenga to the bustling boulevards of Boystown, all of Hollywood is in the tank for Mank! That compelling Kane chronicle from Fight Club frontman Fincher has everyone talking, from film historians to film festival programmers! Heck, even film preservationists want hanky-panky from Mr. Manky! Don't have intimate knowledge of Old Hollywood history? Well, hit the books, Junior! Any manjack who doesn't know their Shearers from their Selznicks is gonna get all flipped around before you can say "Irving G. Thalberg"! Oh, brother! Gary Oldman is the cat's pajamas as the man who put the "Mank" in "Herman J. Mankiewicz", a fella who was half the actor's age when this all took place! Stop by the trailer for another layer of powder, Mr. Old Man! You'll get there! Plus, there's the lovely Lily Collins as Mank's secretary, who takes notes on all of his opinions, and the amazing Amanda Seyfried as Mank's friend, who listens patiently to all of his opinions, and the transcendent Tuppence Middleton as Mank's wife, who sits quietly while he has his opinions! Great job, dames! Maybe you'll get some opinions of your own one day! After all, it's Tinseltown, where dreams come true! So grab your most patient grandparent for a retro-revisionist rollercoaster ride of righteousness, relevance, and rebuke, that may look like a classic film, but unfolds with all the aimless filler of a modern-day thirteen-episode Netflix show! Take that, Mr. Punisher! You've just been Mank'd what good!
The honest title for Mank was ‘Crank Mankers’. Titles designed by Robert Holtby.
Crank Mankers
Sound of Metal[]
Meet Ruben, a hardcore rocker who loses his hearing, which is a nightmare scenario for a musician and, I guess, pretty bad for drummers, too. Watch him go through the five stages of grief, with an extended stop in "Anger" --
Ruben: (throws a radio on the ground in rage)
Ruben: I'm f*cking deaf! I'M F*CKING DEAF!
Ruben: (smashes a doughnut)
Yeah, take that, doughnut; you've had it too good for too long! -- in this shoo-in to win all of the sound awards, and continues the Whiplash tradition of angry drummer movies that deserve Best Picture but won't win. And hey, at least Riz Ahmed is the first Muslim to ever get a Best Actor nomination! So, we're still hitting these firsts after almost 100 years at the Oscars, huh? Good for us! Yay...
The honest title for Sound of Metal was ‘Deaf Jam’. Titles designed by Robert Holtby.
Deaf Jam
Nomadland[]
Let Chloé Zhao's masterful direction sweep across the pristine beauty of America... most of the time (Fern urinates in a bucket), for a documentary full of real people, plus a famous actor so that you'd actually watch it, in this film that can be viewed as an indictment of modern capitalism, or an endorsement for how sweet van life can be. I mean, just look at that puppy; solid as a rock. Got an indoor stove for hot chow, ample storage...
Fern: More counter space!
...and no landlord breathing down your neck? SNL lied to us; living in a van down by the river is awesome.
The honest title for Nomadland was ‘Bucket Pissed’. Titles designed by Robert Holtby.
Bucket Pissed
Promising Young Woman[]
From the writer/director who I still haven't forgiven for being so mean to Lady Di (Emerald Fennell), comes the tale of a vigilante who uses herself as man-bait for sexual predators so she can give these creeps what they truly deserve: a stern talking-to...
Cassie Thomas: Careful next time you go out, now.
Neil: Phew...
...in this film with parallels to another story about someone in makeup who hates society -- <gasp!> Oh no! A lady Joker! -- with a powerful message for girls: do not trust men... if they were an adorkable comedic actor who peaked around 2010. (shows shots of Max Greenfield, Adam Brody, and Bo Burnham, then shows posters from New Girl, The O.C., and Words, Words, Words, respectively)
Neil: I want to see you... the real you. (pecks at Cassie's nose)
Et tu, McLovin?!
The honest title for Promising Young Woman was ‘Don’t Kill Bill for Some Reason’. Titles designed by Robert Holtby.
Don't Kill Bill for Some Reason
Minari[]
From the studio who brings you horror films that turn out to be elaborate metaphors about the notion of family or whatever (A24), comes a movie about being an Asian family in America, which was already pretty scary without putting a Babadook or whatever in it. (a Los Angeles Times article with the title "'Minari' wins best foreign language film at the Golden Globes. Yes, it's American" pops up) Return to the 80's where, despite what Stranger Things and Wonder Woman say, was not covered in neon everywhere, and meet the Yi family, a hearty band from California determined to get out of the chicken sexing business, in this stirring tale about how farming is really effing hard, and marriage is even harder, but at least Mountain Dew is delicious...
David Yi: (while opening a bottle of Mountain Dew) My favorite... my favorite.
Anne Yi: (in Korean) It's water from the mountains. Dad says it's good for your health.
...whose deliberate pace will give your brain enough time to connect everything back to The Simpsons. Check it out: angry dad who loves food (Jacob Yi and Homer Simpson), sad mom who's worried all the time (Monica Yi and Marge Simpson), devout Christian neighbor (Paul and Ned Flanders), grandparent who's starting to lose it (Soon-ja and Abe Simpson), a rebellious boy (David Yi and Bart Simpson) and his smart and respectful sister (Anne Yi and Lisa Simpson), and they all cram into a beat-up station wagon. Hey, maybe they should've tried growing tomacco instead of Korean vegetable-- Okay, I'll stop, I'll stop!
The honest title for Minari was ‘Veggie Tales’. Titles designed by Robert Holtby.
Veggie Tales
The Father[]
Anthony Hopkins gives the performance of a lifetime, as an old man refusing help for the dementia that's slowly eating away at his mind, that's such a heartbreaking, torturous, and cruel portrayal of a legend's final days, there's no way you actually watched it. Nuh-uh! No! This year's been hard enough! I'm just going to watch this TikTok to relax, instead. (plays a TikTok video by Anthony Hopkins showing him acting crazy) Never mind...
The honest title for The Father was ‘The Downer’. Titles designed by Robert Holtby.
The Downer
Starring...[]
All the Things You Actually Decided to Watch This Year:
- Live Action Cartoons (Godzilla vs. Kong and Sonic the Hedgehog)
- Live Action Cartoons We Took Way Too Seriously (WandaVision and Zack Snyder's Justice League)
- All the New Netflix Shows (The Circle, The Queen's Gambit, and Tiger King)
- All of the Old Netflix Shows (Chapelle's Show, Avatar: The Last Airbender, and Cobra Kai)
- All of Netflix Until All That's Left is Cooking and Real Estate Shows (plays a clip from a cooking show discussing "taco virgins") OK Fine Those Too...
- Lighting $60 on Fire (Cyberpunk 2077)
- Your Cat
...and...
- The Wall You Glare at During Your Neighbor's Loud Parties When You Know They Aren't Social Distancing Because That's a Studio Apartment, and I Would Love to Have Company Too, but Some of Us are Being Responsible and I Haven't Felt the Warm Touch of Another Human Being in Months Because of This Wasted Year That's Flashing Before My Eyes...Brad!
The Oscars (2021)
I don't care what the Academy says; this scene from Money Plane was the purest moment of joy I had at the cinema all year!
The Rumble: Whatever you want to wager on, the Money Plane has you covered. You want to bet on a dude f*cking an alligator? Money Plane.
Viewer's Comments[]
Please say: "Until next time I'll be scooting my butt across the carpet and into your heart" - Taz The Yorkie
In honour of the late Paul Ritter, please say, "Three point six. Not great. Not terrible." - Rick Boost
Please Say: Happy Birthday Namita!!! - Rohit T. R.
Please say: "Despite the promise of info, I was unable to determine what - if anything - a 'butt onion' is supposed to be." - Brian Hawkins
Trivia[]
- The second comment in the viewer's comments pays tribute to Paul Ritter, an actor known for his roles as Guy Haines in the James Bond film Quantum of Solace, Eldred Worple in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, and Anatoly Dyatlov in the TV miniseries Chernobyl, who passed away on April 5, 2021, at the age of 54 due to a brain tumor.
Reception[]
Production Credits[]
Voice Narration: Jon Bailey aka Epic Voice Guy
Title Design: Robert Holtby
Written by: Spencer Gilbert, Danielle Radford, & Lon Harris
Produced by: Spencer Gilbert
Edited by: Kevin Williamsen
Post-Production Supervisor: Emin Bassavand
Director of Video Production: Max Dionne
Associate Producer: Ryan O'Toole
Executive Producer: Roth Cornet