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Honest Trailer - The Predator

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The Predator is the 280th episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell, Joe Starr, and Lon Harris. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the 2018 science fiction action film, The Predator. It was published on January 22, 2019, shortly after the film's release on Blu-ray/home video. It is 4 minutes 15 seconds long. It has been viewed over 1.9 million times.

Watch Honest Trailers - The Predator on YouTube

"This time, the galaxy's greatest hunter must face its most dangerous opponent since Dutch: EXPANSION. OF THE LORE. FOR FRANCHISE. PURPOSES." ~ Honest Trailers - The Predator

Script[]

Now that the Terminator franchise has been run into the ground, and the Alien franchise is on life support...

David (Alien: Covenant): (to Walter) I'll do the fingering.

...the Predator franchise will be dug up from its grave, dusted off... and have its faced stomped, in... (shows the Ultimate Predator bashing the Fugitive Predator's head in)

The Predator

Did you love the razor-focused intensity of the first and only good one? (shows Alan "Dutch" Schaefer, Mac Eliot, and Billy Sole firing their assault rifles in Predator) Well, too bad, because this is a film about a team of outcasts being hunted by an alien, and a Predator rebelling against his own people to save the Earth, and an autistic boy's unlikely gifts, and one soldier's quest to clear his name, and a biologist unraveling the mystery of Predator-human evolution... all at the same time, in this sloppy mess barely held together by dialogue written by Shane Black... 's character in Predator 1.

Rick Hawkins (Predator): "You know, I'd like a little p*ssy."

Baxley: Eat your p*ssy.

Rick Hawkins: "Jeez, you've got a big p*ssy."

Nettles: He called me a p*ssy, and nobody calls me a p*ssy, so...

...Huh?

Meet the Loonies, outcast soldiers stripped of their ranks... and all but one character trait. There's Thomas Jane, playing a man with Movie Tourette's...

Baxley: (stuttering) Cock! Cock! F*ck! D*ck!

...Keegan (Keegan-Michael Key), stuck doing "yo mama" jokes...

Coyle: How do you circumcise a homeless man? / Kick your mom in the chin. / If your mom's vagina were a video game, it'd be rated "E" for "Everyone".

...the guy from Moonlight (Trevante Rhodes), mumbling through a cigarette...

Nebraska: (while smoking a cigarette) Mmm. Mmm.

...Theon Greyjoy (Alfie Allen), in search of a reason to be in the movie (shows Coyle and Nebraska clapping after Lynch performs a sleight-of-hand card trick); and the bad guy from Logan (Boyd Holbrook), in a star turn as a generic soldier with a very elastic butthole. (shows Quinn holding the tracking device he swallowed earlier after using the bathroom to retrieve it) They'll team up with Olivia Munn, a biologist whose combat training comes out of nowhere -- because apparently, her intro scene had a real predator in it (a ScreenRant article with the title "Here's Where Olivia Munn's Cut Scene Would Have Been In The Predator" pops up, detailing how a key scene involving Munn was cut after the actor playing opposite her, Steve Wilder, was revealed to be a registered sex offender) -- and they'll all fight the evil Sterling K. Brown, who's here to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and he's aaall out of-- (shows Traeger popping some gum into his mouth) ...he's aaall out of-- (shows a scene of Traeger chewing gum) ...he's all-- (shows another scene of Traeger chewing gum) ...he's-- (shows yet another scene of Traeger chewing gum) Okay, I guess he's just here to chew gum... and die. (shows Traeger accidentally blowing his own head off with the Fugitive Predator's Plasmacaster)

The Predator is back to save us all --

Quinn: So, this is his gift to, uh, humankind?

Or not; it's... unclear. (montage of the Fugitive Predator killing Stargazer guards) -- and this time, the galaxy's greatest hunter must face its most dangerous opponent since Dutch: EXPANSION. (shows the Fugitive Predator's ship emerging through a wormhole) OF THE LORE.

Nebraska: --the dreads. What's that all about?

Casey: I don't know. Maybe, like, sensory receptors.

FOR FRANCHISE.

Rory: (after seeing a hologram of a Predator being injected with spinal fluid) What?

PURPOSES.

Casey: --remember how I told you how they take people's spines, right? / I think they're attempting hybridization.

Hey, guys? "Alien hunts badasses" is all we need. Three-word pitch; done.

So if you want desperate battles, genuinely shocking carnage (shows the Ultimate Predator blowing one of Traeger's soldiers apart with its Wristblade), and immortal one-liners... re-watch the original...

Alan "Dutch" Schaefer (Predator): (after throwing his knife into a guerilla hard enough to pin him to a wall) Stick around.

...because the only thing here being stalked, killed, and kept as a trophy... is your time. (in an Arnold Schwarzenegger impression) "You are one ugly motherf--"

Starring: G.I. Schmoe (Boyd Holbrook as Quentin "Quinn" McKenna); Chewie (Sterling K. Brown as Will Traeger); Young Sheldon (Jacob Tremblay as Rory McKenna); X-Wing @Aliciousness, Missouri Western State University (Keegan-Michael Key as Coyle); Dr. Tough Lady Girl, PhD (Olivia Munn as Casey Brackett); You vs. The Predator She Told You Not to Worry About (Brian A. Prince as the Fugitive Predator); Stupor Shredder (shows the "Predator Killer" armor after attaching itself to a lab worker); Durotan (Kyle Strauts as the Ultimate Predator); This Is Dumb (shows Rory wearing a Predator helmet while trick-or-treating); and That Thing Where Dogs Look Like Their Owner (shows the Ultimate Predator and a Predator Hound roaring).

Audience vs. Predator

for The Predator - Audience vs. Predator. Titles designed by .

Honest title for The Predator - Audience vs. Predator. Titles designed by Robert Holtby.

Hulk, Alien, The Thing, I Am Legend, The Fly, Ghostbusters, this movie? Why does every single nerd franchise have evil dogs in it?! Can't a monster get an evil turtle or something? (shows Pistachio Disguisey laughing while in his "turtle suit" in The Master of Disguise)

Trivia[]

Honest_Trailers_Commentary_-_The_Predator_(2018)

Honest Trailers Commentary - The Predator (2018)

Watch the full Honest Trailer Commentary on YouTube

Reception[]

Honest Trailers - The Predator has a 98.2% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Egotastic called the Honest Trailer "savagely funny" and wrote that it "takes the film to task for taking a stupid pill, pointing out the film's many problems." Screen Rant highlighted the Honest Trailer for poking fun at the film's "overstuffed plot, flat characters, and messy attempts to expand the series' lore." In the same article, Screen Rant also wrote, Screen Junkies' video "goes on to poke fun at the film's uninspired dialogue and how it feels more like something Black's character from the original Predator would've written - as opposed to Black himself."

Movieweb also commented on the Honest Trailer's harsh tone, writing "this edition of Honest Trailers isn't pulling any punches" and it "rips through the movie like a chestburster." MovieWeb also called attention to the way the Honest Trailer compared The Predator to other classic franchises, Terminator and Alien, which are similarly "hanging on by a thread." In the same article, MoveWeb noted that Screen Junkies "gently address the controversy surrounding actor Steven Wilder Striegel, who was cast by director Shane Black in a minor role, despite being a known sex offender."

Geek Tyrant appreciated Screen Junkies brutal take and wrote that it was well deserved:

I love how Screen Junkies can make fun of a movie that audiences enjoyed, and still give it respect and props where it’s due. This just isn’t one of those movies, because it’s horrible. So thanks to Screen Junkies for making this honest trailer, and having it be the only good thing to come out of this movie. (Jessica Fisher, January 24, 2019, Geek Tyrant)

Production credits[]

Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - The Predator

Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - The Predator

Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey

Title Design: Robert Holtby

Written by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell, Joe Starr and Lon Harris

Produced by Dan Murrell, Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, and Max Dionne

Edited by Kevin Williamsen and TJ Nordaker

Assistant Editor: Emin Bassavand

External links []

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