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The Spider-Man Trilogy is the 56th episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written Spencer Gilbert, Gilli Nissim, Dan Murrell and Andy Signore. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies Sam Raimi's early-2000s Spider-Man trilogy. It was published on April 29, 2014 to coincide with the theatrical release of The Amazing Spider-Man 2. It is 4 minutes 26 seconds long. It has been viewed over 8.5 million times.

Watch Honest Trailers - The Spider-Man Trilogy on YouTube

"Two fun, innocent romps about a teenage superhero, and a massive turd that managed to ruin Peter Parker, Venom, Gwen Stacy, and the entire franchise in one go." ~ Honest Trailers - The Spider-Man Trilogy

ScriptEdit

From the studio that won't let Spider-Man team up with anyone else ever (Sony Pictures) comes the Godfather trilogy of superhero movies, in that the first two are great and the third one sucks *ss:

The Original Spider-Man Trilogy

Prepare for an epic superhero trilogy featuring Spider-Man 1, a story about Peter Parker struggling with his powers, breaking up with Mary Jane, and battling a supervillain who ultimately kills himself; Spider-Man 2, a story about Peter Parker struggling with his powers, breaking up with Mary Jane, and battling a supervillain who ultimately kills himself; and Spider-Man 3, a story about Peter Parker struggling with his powers, breaking up with Mary Jane, and battling a supervillain who ultimately kills himself. Wait, did they just make the same movie three times in a row?

Tobey Maguire stars as Peter Parker, a boy with the face of a puppy and the voice of a smaller, less threatening puppy. When this student-physicist-journalist-pizza delivery boy is bitten by a radioactive spider, blah blah blah powers, blah blah blah responsibility.

Uncle Ben: With great power comes great responsibility.

Yeah, dude, we get it.

Watch Spider-Man soar with his trademark powers of wall-crawling and web-shooting, plus a few more like spider sense...occasionally (shows clips of Peter Parker/Spider-Man getting hit), costume design (shows Peter Parker drawing his Spider-Man costume), and spider tears (shows clips of Peter Parker crying).

Meet Mary Jane, the love of Peter's life and the worst girlfriend ever (Mary Jane: This isn't about you. This is about me.). Grow to hate her snaggletoothed face as she cheats on her boyfriend with Spider-Man, cheats on her fiance with Peter Parker, and cheats on Peter Parker with his best friend. You'll wonder why anyone bothers to save her over and over and over and over and over and over again (Mary Jane: You have a knack for saving my life!).

Ride along as Spider-Man faces off against iconic supervillains who, despite billion-to-one odds, all have a personal relationship with Peter Parker, like his professional mentor, Doctor Octopus; his uncle's killer, the Sandman; his rival co-worker, Venom; his best friend's dad, the Green Goblin; and his best friend, the other Green Goblin. Watch as these good men gone bad struggle with their inner demons the only way they know how: Golluming.

Norman Osborn: You killed them. (turns to look at himself in the mirror) *We* killed them.

Otto Octavius: No, no, no, I'm not a criminal. (turns his head) The real crime would be not to finish what we started.

Norman Osborn's Reflection: Imagine if he joined us. (laughs villainously with a demented smile on his face)

Echhh. His face looks a lot better with the mask on.

So before you catch the next installment of the hipster reboot, settle in for two fun, innocent romps about a teenage superhero (Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2) and a massive turd that managed to ruin Peter Parker, Venom, Gwen Stacy, and the entire franchise in one go (Spider-Man 3). (shows Peter Parker walking down the street while dancing) No. (Peter Parker continues walking and dancing) Stop. (Peter Parker continues walking and dancing) What's happening? (Peter Parker does a slide) Why are you doing this? (Peter Parker continues dancing) Please! Please! It's so lame! Oh, God, really?!

Peter Parker (whispering): Now dig on this. (starts snapping his fingers)

WHYYYYYYYY?!?! Oh, the humanity!!

Starring Spider-Man Pooping (Tobey Maguire as Peter Parker/Spider-Man); Osborn, the Great and Powerful (James Franco as Harry Osborn); Kirsten Startst (Kirsten Dunst as Mary Jane Watson); Gwen Stefani (Bryce Dallas Howard as Gwen Stacy); will.i.em Dafoe (Willem Dafoe as Norman Osborn/Green Goblin); Inspector Gadget (Alfred Molina as Otto Octavius/Doctor Octopus); Blandman (Thomas Haden Church as Flint Marko/Sandman); Groovy (Bruce Campbell as Maitre d'); Ashy Larry (Donnell Rawlings as Pizza "Heist" Witness); Black Flubber (alien symbiote); and Gopher Face (Topher Grace as Eddie Brock/Venom).

The Spider-Man Trilogy.

(shows Peter Parker tearing up) Wuss.

Trivia Edit

  • An Honest Trailer Commentary for this episode was recorded and was available on the Screen Junkies Plus until the website/app was discontinued. Screen Junkies don't currently have any way of releasing the video.

Reception Edit

Honest Trailers - The Spider-Man Trilogy has a 98.8% approval rating from YouTube viewers. JOE found the Honest Trailer notable for pointing out the similarities between the films and highlighting that there was "too much ‘Gollum-ing’ going on in all three films." The Huffington Post said the Honest Trailer was "spot on" and plots "makes some good points" including about the repetitive plot, the "black flubber" and that Mary Jane isn't a particularly great girlfriend. Uproxx also said the Honest Trailer including some good points, and wrote, "we’ll have to credit this video with introducing us to the excellent term 'Gollum-ing', although we may have to disagree with their assertion that the third movie 'ruined Peter Parker and the entire franchise.'"

Production credits Edit

SpiderMan

Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - The Spider-Man Trilogy

Series Created by Andy Signore & Brett Weiner

Written by Spencer Gilbert, Gilli Nissim, Dan Murrell, and Andy Signore

Edited by Dan Murrell

Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey

External links Edit

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