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The Twilight Saga: New Moon is the 12th episode in Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Andy Signore, Brett Weiner, Dan Perrault and Dave Child. It was narrated by Gannon Nickell. It parodies the 2009 supernatural romance film The Twilight Saga: New Moon. It was published on November 16, 2012, to coincide with the theatrical release of the fourth film in the Twilight Saga, Breaking Dawn Part 2.. It is 4 minutes and 7 seconds long. In the years since its initial publication, the trailer has been viewed over 6.3 million times.

Watch Honest Trailers - New Moon on YouTube

"The continuation of the epic romance between this 109-year-old Shovel Face and this pathetic, co-dependent teenager." ~ Honest Trailers - The Twilight Saga: New Moon

ScriptEdit

From the makers of the sh*ttiest movie of all time (Twilight) comes the equally sh*tty sequel: Twilight: New Moon, the continuation of the epic romance between this 109-year-old Shovel Face (Edward Cullen) and this pathetic, co-dependent teenager (Bella Swan).

Bella: Maybe I shouldn't be dating such an old man. It's gross.

It really is gross.

Witness their eternal love for each other that lasts a mere five minutes before she's dumped for no reason, prompting his desperately obsessed ex-girlfriend to mope around for months on end so they could do this fancy shot outside her window (shows a spinning camera shot showing the changing seasons outside Bella's bedroom window), until Fish Face finds a new man to latch onto, a very, very shirtless man with an incredibly obvious secret (Bella: So you're a werewolf./Jacob: Yeah.), who is only in the movie to create a forced love triangle for the franchise, even though they make it perfectly clear who Dead-Eyes will ultimately choose (Bella: Don't make me choose, 'cause it'll be him. It's always been him.).

A role model so terrible and reckless, she'll encourage all angsty teenagers to drive off on motorcycles with complete strangers; jump off cliffs; slap shirtless weird dudes; stand between vampires and large, deadly werewolves; travel to foreign countries without telling their parents; and drown themselves to see hallucinations of their ex-boyfriends. I'm pretty sure this makes her a schizophrenic.

Prepare yourself for a movie filled with placeholder dialogue that wasn't changed from the first draft; and werewolves that rip out of their clothes, but always seem to get their shorts back. Seriously, do they keep stashes of jean shorts hidden around the forest?

But when Shovel Face is in danger of flashing children, Just-Smelled-Poop Face will ignore the months of unnecessary turmoil he's caused her and ride to save him on an airline that enforces the abstinence metaphor (Virgin Atlantic Airways), leading to a rushed climax that will leave you wondering "Who are these random last-minute villains (The Volturi)?".

Starring More Fake Contacts (shows vampire characters with red eyes), More Abs (shows clips of a shirtless Jacob), More of the Actress Who Can't Seem to Ever Close Her Mouth (shows clips of Bella with her mouth hanging open), and Even More Stares (shows clips of characters staring straight ahead as "Great Ambition" plays).

Twilight: New Moon. Just watch True Blood instead. At least they get naked on that show.

Viewer's Comments Edit

Say "This is not a democracy anymore" - Robert Sanders

say "That's so Raven." - sillysally8814

Say: "Oh, oh god not the bees! Not the bees! Ah, they're in my eyes! My eyes! The bees!!" - doctorlough

Trivia Edit

  • An Honest Trailer Commentary for this episode was recorded and was available on the Screen Junkies Plus until the website/app was discontinued. Screen Junkies don't currently have any way of releasing the video.

Reception Edit

Honest Trailers - The Twilight Saga: New Moon has an 98.6% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Geek Tyrant said the video was "funny," and that Screen Junkies "basically point out every ridiculous aspect of the films that we all love to hate."

Production Credits Edit

Honest trailer new moon twilight

Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - The Twilight Saga: New Moon

Series Created & Directed by Andy Signore & Brett Weiner

Executive Producer Mitch Rotter

Written by Andy Signore, Brett Weiner, Dan Perrault and Dave Child

Edited by Andy Signore & Brett Weiner

Voiceover Narration by Gannon Nickell

External links Edit

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