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The X-Men Trilogy is the 59th episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Gilli Nissim, Dan Murrell and Andy Signore. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the 2000s X-Men superhero film trilogy, including X-Men (2000), X2 (2003) and X-Men: The Last Stand (2006). It was published on May 20, 2014, to coincide with the theatrical release of X-Men: Days of Future Past. It is 4 minutes 26 seconds long. It has been viewed over 8.4 million times.

Watch Honest Trailers - The X-Men Trilogy on YouTube

"Suit up for director Bryan Singer's first two X-Men films that proved comic book movies can be awesome, and director Brett Ratner's The Last Stand that proved comic book movies can totally suck balls." ~ Honest Trailers - The X-Men Trilogy

ScriptEdit

You've seen the prequels, sequels, and spin-offs; but before you see the prequel-sequel hybrid reboot (X-Men: Days of Future Past), revisit the triquel that started it all:

The X-Men Trilogy

In a world where people cheer for superheroes like the Fantastic Four, The Avengers, and Spider-Man, those same people will inexplicably hate the X-Men because, for some reason, there's a difference between superpowers and mutant powers...I guess.

Suit up for director Bryan Singer's first two X-Men films that proved comic book movies can be awesome, and director Brett Ratner's The Last Stand that proved comic book movies can totally suck balls. Recoil as this spoiled hack douchebag takes the reins of the beloved franchise, only to kill off your favorite characters, leave out your favorite characters, and de-power your favorite characters, all while completely butchering the Phoenix Saga, a storyline so iconic, even the cartoon did it justice. But don't worry; they're sending Wolverine back in time to make sure Brett Ratner never happened.

Meet Professor X, the Dumbledore of Xavier's School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. It's basically ITT Tech for weirdos. Suit up with his best students, the X-Men, leather fetish versions of the popular comic book characters. There's Wolverine, a man with a mysterious past that must have included a lot of steroids; Cyclops, a bratty crybaby who's only there to salt Wolverine's game; Rogue, who gets the crappy "no touching" part of her powers, but not flight or super strength; Storm, who can control the variations of the weather, but not her bad African accent; Gambit (a caption appears reading "Footage Not Found"); and Jean Grey, whose Phoenix energy is released through the power of stares (shows clips of Jean Grey and other characters staring straight ahead as "Great Ambition" plays).

They'll team up against Magneto, a Holocaust survivor who basically becomes Hitler; a walking Internet meme (Juggernaut); and his Na'vi sidekick Mystique, who -- wait, is she naked? She's totally naked, right? Man, somebody got to paint that on her boobs to make them, y'know, bloobs, ha. I am so lonely.

Watch as all mutantkind must band together to defeat evil government officials out to prove that mutants are dangerous...which they totally are. (shows clips of mutants causing destruction as jaunty trumpet music plays in the background, followed by Xavier using Cerebro as spirits float around him) Aughhh, geez!

Starring Melisandre (Famke Janssen as Jean Grey), Oculus Rift (James Marsden as Scott Summers/Cyclops), Twinks (Shawn Ashmore as Bobby Drake/Iceman, Aaron Stanford as John Allerdyce/Pyro, and Ben Foster as Warren Worthington III/Angel), Sookie! (Anna Paquin as Marie D'Ancanto/Rogue), Ron Paul (Ian McKellan as Erik Lehnsherr/Magneto), Logan Valjean (Hugh Jackman as James "Logan" Howlett/Wolverine), Rebecca Romijin (Rebecca Romijn as Raven Darkhölme/Mystique), Hairy Blewbs (Kelsey Grammer as Hank McCoy/Beast), and Timmy! (Patrick Stewart as Charles Xavier/Professor X).

The X-Men Trilogy

So they couldn't find room for Gambit, Psylocke, or Cable, but they managed to fit in Horn Man (Spike), Slim-Fast (Phat), and the Bad Hugger (Kid Omega)? Ughhh.

 Trivia Edit

  • An Honest Trailer Commentary for this episode was recorded and was available on the Screen Junkies Plus until the website/app was discontinued. Screen Junkies don't currently have any way of releasing the video.

Reception Edit

Honest Trailers - The X-Men Trilogy has a 98.7% approval rating from YouTube viewers. JOE said the Honest Trailer was "hilarious." Geek Tyrant observed that Screen Junkies "rightfully set most of their sarcastic sights on X-Men: The Last Stand director Brett Ratner, the killing off of key characters, and the mishandling of The Dark Phoenix Saga storyline." Similarly, Jo Blo noted that Screen Junkies' "summary makes important observations about bad third installments." Indie Wire remarked the Honest Trailer was "not all Brett Ratner-bashing. The trailer has a good time poking fun at the mutants themselves and some of the cheeseball stuff the franchise has delivered over the years."

 Production credits Edit

XMen

Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - The X-Men Trilogy

Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey

Series Created by Andy Signore & Brett Weiner

Written by Spencer Gilbert, Gilli Nissim, Dan Murrell and Andy Signore

Edited by Dan Murrell

External links Edit

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