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Top Gun is the 61st episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Gilli Nissim, Dan Murrell and Andy Signore. It parodies the 1986 romantic drama film Top Gun. It is narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy in the style of a vault episode. It was published on June 3, 2014, to coincide with the theatrical release of Edge of Tomorrow. It is 4 minutes 7 seconds long. It has been viewed over 7.5 million times.

Watch Honest Trailers - Top Gun on YouTube

"Cold War America is on the razor's edge of Armageddon. Now, America's best pilots will be pulled from active duty to drink, screw, and play drawn-out games of homoerotic beach volleyball." ~ Honest Trailers - Top Gun

ScriptEdit

(user requests for a Top Gun Honest Trailer appear) Let's crack open the Honest Trailer vault. (the trailer begins as if being played on a VHS tape)

From the guy who made Alien and Blade Runner's brother (Tony Scott) comes a military recruitment tool disguised as a gay romance disguised as an action movie: Top Gun.

Cold War America is on the razor's edge of Armageddon. Now, America's best pilots will be pulled from active duty to drink, screw, and play drawn-out games of homoerotic beach volleyball. Oh, and occasionally fly some planes.

The kid from Risky Business (Tom Cruise) is all grown up and starring in a film with everything you love about present-day America: big hair, cool mustaches, aviator shades, and sweet-ass jets. Hell yeah! Let's go kiss some dudes...I mean, kiss some ass...I, I mean, fly some planes. Yeah, that's what I meant.

Watch big egos collide at Top Gun Academy. There's Iceman, who's cool as ice; Maverick, who plays by his own rules; Goose, because he...flies?...and Sundown, who's black. Ride along with these air jockeys as they learn crucial tricks of the trade, like searching for missile lock (shows clips of pilots trying to lock on missiles), airplane mumbo jumbo, and musical theatre (shows a crowd of aviators singing "Hang On Sloopy").

Watch Tom Cruise seduce America with an adorable little smile that never leaves his face, no matter what situation he's in. Witness the filmmakers pull out every trick in the book to make this five-foot-seven actor look as tall as his costars by having them lean, sit, lie down, walk behind him, or just stick Tom up on an apple crate.

Charlie: When I first met you, you were larger than life.

Musta been someone else.

Meet the tough-talking Charlie Blackwood. She's not just another sexy blond broad; this sexy blond broad knows stuff...about airplanes (Charlie: You were in a 4-G inverted dive with a MiG-28?). Cheer as this no-nonsense, shoulder pad-wearing ball-breaker gives up on her career to make hot, steamy love to Maverick. (shows Maverick passionately French-kissing Charlie) That's a lotta tongue. Then, crank up the homosexual undertones as every other dude in the movie tries to make hot, steamy love to each other.

Stinger: I'd like to bust your butt, but I can't.

Johnson: I want somebody's butt, I want it NOW!!

Goose: You have to have carnal knowledge, of a lady this time...

Wolfman: This gives me a hard on.

Hollywood: I'm getting a hard on...Don't tease me.

Iceman: You can be my wingman anytime.

Maverick: I am dangerous.

(Iceman bites down)

Johnson: I want some butts!!

So suit up for an awesome movie full of quotable lines and a soundtrack so heavy, it plays "Danger Zone" three separate times. (shows clips of "Danger Zone" being played at different points in the movie) America, f*ck yeah!

Starring That Amish Girl Who Showed Her Bewbs in Witness (Kelly McGillis as Charlie Blackwood), Some Girl (Meg Ryan as Carole Bradshaw), That Nerd from the Nerds Movie (Anthony Edwards as Nick "Goose" Bradshaw), Discount Burt Reynolds (Tom Skerritt as Mike "Viper" Metcalf), Nick Rivers (Val Kilmer as Tom "Iceman" Kazanski), and Devout Catholic Tom Cruise (as Pete "Maverick" Mitchell).

Top Gun.

So this movie ends with them starting World War III, right? (shows Maverick shooting down a MiG)

Viewer's Comments Edit

Say: "I don't want your future!!" - Commander Colt

Say: FATALITY! - Near

Say: "Drink up, let's boo-boo!" - MisterGloomandDoom

Say 'Oh no, Country Bear Hall has been crushed!' - Wayne Kelso

Say: "cheese!!!" - Tuan Dung Nong

Say "DISAPPOINTED!" - Blake F

Trivia Edit

  • This video is a "vault episode" meaning it was made to look like it was made at the time the movie was released. This includes mimicking the voiceover style of 80s trailers much more directly, and using a VHS style intro and visual effect. In addition, the writers only make pop culture references that a person in 1986 would have known about, including an ironic references to Tom Cruise's personal life. Other vault episodes include Captain America (1990), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace and Rocky IV.

Reception Edit

Honest Trailers - Top Gun has a 98.6% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Critical reception was overwhelmingly positive for this Honest Trailer. American Military News wrote that the Honest Trailer was "hilarious" and the video broke down the film's "most hysterical parts." JOE said it was "an absolutely cracking Honest Trailer." Gizmodo wrote the Honest Trailer was "brutally honest," and Top Gun is a "ridiculous movie to begin with, but it completely falls apart in a hilarious way when you see it through their Honest Trailer lenses." Geek Tyrant said the video was "hilarious." BroBible declared the Honest Trailer "says everything we’ve all been thinking" and that it "captures every singe comment and criticism people have had about the movie since the 1980s — that totally plutonic beach volleyball scene included."

Production credits Edit

TopGun

Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - Top Gun

Voiceover narration by Jon Bailey

Series Created by Andy Signore & Brett Weiner

Written by Spencer Gilbert, Gilli Nissim, Dan Murrell, and Andy Signore

Edited by Dan Murrell

External links Edit

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