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Honest Trailer - Venom

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Honest Trailers - Venom is the 277th episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell, Joe Starr and Lon Harris. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the 2018 superhero movie Venom. The video is 5 minutes 12 seconds long. It was published on New Year's Day 2019, shortly after the release of the film on Blu-ray/home video. It has been viewed over 3.9 million times.

Watch Honest Trailers - Venom on YouTube

"Get ready for a gnarly, sick, tight movie you'll love, as long as you're the kind of person who says 'gnarly', 'sick', and 'tight'." ~ Honest Trailers - Venom

Script []

From the studio that lets Marvel play with their toys (Sony Pictures), comes the Spider-Man villain everyone wanted to see onscreen, until... they did...

Topher Grace's Eddie: Hey, Parker.

Tom Hardy's Eddie: Oh, God!

...but this time, they can't even afford to put Spider-Man in it.

Venom

Get ready for a gnarly, sick, tight movie you'll love, as long as you're the kind of person who says "gnarly", "sick", and "tight", as the genre runs out of Silver Age heroes to adapt, and enters the extreme 90's era of leather jackets and attitude, for a film that would've been so much better if it were rated R. (shows She-Venom biting a person's head off-screen) But it made almost a billion dollars (shows the film's page on Box Office Mojo, listing its worldwide gross as $854,447,769), so sh*t, what do we know?

Witness Tom Hardy doing just the most with the role of Eddie Brock, as he plays the investigative reporter like a crackhead squirrel.

Eddie: (imitating E.T.) E.T. phone home. Aliens, yeah.

You'll be captivated by his... New York accent (?)...

Eddie: --I have spent a significant amount of time [...] with one of these creatures up my ass.

...his ever-changing man bracelets, and so many weird little noises, you'll wonder if they've been covering his mouth (shows Tom Hardy as Bane, Max Rockatansky, and Farrier, who all wear something obscuring their mouths) for a reason. (montage of Eddie making weird noises)

Watch everything change when he's infected by an evil splooge from outer space who goes by "Venom", a member of a parasitic race that's going to conquer Earth, unless humanity can somehow get its hands on a halfway decent sound system. (montage of symbiotes getting hurt by extremely loud sounds) Together, they'll chomp their way through good and bad guys alike, prompting audiences everywhere to wonder, "Does Eddie Brock know what human flesh tastes like? Is he technically a cannibal? When Venom bites off a head, does Eddie have to crap out the skull later? Were these all of Tom's favorite parts that got cut out?" (an AV News article with the title "Tom Hardy says all of his favorite parts of Venom got cut out of the movie" pops up)

Enjoy a film of charm and action, then stop enjoying it while they bore you to death with science talk.

Dora: We're collecting this data as quickly as possible.

Scientist 2: One of the organisms got out of containment...

Lots and lots of science talk.

Eddie: --you discovered a gene therapy that literally doubles the life expectancy of pancreatic cancer patients.

Drake: Well, why are all these hosts showing this hyper-acute rejection?

Automated Female Voice: Establishing subject baseline.

Dan: --metabolic abnormalities that are making it hard for your body to maintain homeostasis.

Drake: Are you seeing this? He's achieved symbiosis!

Dan: --renal, endocrine; they're... behaving abnormally.

Scientist 1: We're loading the probe and running diagnostics. But even fully automated, you can't pilot that craft all alone.

Directing the boredom is the not-so-secretly evil Carlton Drake, a man who wants to destroy humanity in order to save it...

Drake: We've brought the planet to the brink of extinction.

...a plan shared by this film's villain, Infinity War's, Mission: Impossible - Fallout's, and The Predator's. And that's just in 2018! (plays clips featuring the villains from Kingsman: The Secret Service, The Fate of the Furious, and Watchmen) Thrill as Drake assumes his final form: Raisin Venom, then try to cheer on the hero as the action concludes with two syrupy blotches wrestling each other like a Winamp visualizer with teeth.

Winamp Announcer: It really whips the llama's ass!

But Venom's not just an action movie; it's also a love story, as Eddie is torn between his love of Michelle Williams's terrible wig...

Anne: Hey, I'm sorry about Venom.

...and the special guy inside of him who's ready to make the leap from "I" to "we".

Venom: We... are Venom.

And no, it's not weird that I ship SymBrock; the movie made a quarter-billion in China (a Vox article with the title "China has helped Venom become an $822 million box office success" pops up), and this is how they advertised it! (shows cartoony posters of Venom acting like the perfect boyfriend) Look, ever since Tumblr... changed, this is all I got left; let me have this one! (shows Eddie and She-Venom kissing) Ooh, Epic Voice-y likey!

So enjoy a comic book film that isn't bogged down by twenty other episodes like the MCU, or the grandiose pretensions of the DC Universe...

Cyborg: This is amazing...

...'cause sometimes, it's fun to watch a movie that's just a movie... even though it did so well (a The Washington Post article with the title "Critic-proof 'Venom' tops box office for a second week" pops up), Sony will probably use it to kickstart an entire cinematic goo-niverse. (shows gooey substances from Ghostbusters II, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze, and Prometheus) Hard pass, Sony; hard pass... unless you get Flubber. (shows Prof. Brainard sticking his face in Flubber)

Starring: Sad Max (Tom Hardy as Eddie Brock); Inky and the Veins (Tom Hardy as Venom); Dan from Veep and Dan from Venom (Reid Scott as Dan Lewis, alongside Dan Egan from Veep); Man-Taster by the Sea (Michelle Williams as Anne Weying); Felon Musk (Riz Ahmed as Carlton Drake/Riot); Everyone Goops (montage of people being possessed by the symbiotes); The Rialto Theater, the Rialto Theater, and That's--That's the Rialto Theater as Well, the Rialto Theater... Again, What Theater is That? Oh, It's the Rialto. (montage of characters passing by the Rialto Theater multiple times in the same action scene); and Ooh, I'm the Leprecarn! Ha! (Woody Harrelson as Cletus Kasady)

Close Encounters of the Turd Kind

for Venom - Close Encounters of the Turd Kind. Titles designed by .

Honest title for Venom - Close Encounters of the Turd Kind. Titles designed by Robert Holtby.

Venom: --rolling down the street, like a turd... in the wind?

(in the style of a pharmaceutical commercial) If your turds are thin or light enough to roll in the wind, please call your gastroenterologist.

Trivia[]

Honest_Trailers_Commentary_-_Venom

Honest Trailers Commentary - Venom

  • This Honest Trailer was released while the Screen Junkies team were on end of year vacation. Writer Dan Murrell left for his vacation before the video was finished - the first time he saw the completed Honest Trailer was when it was uploaded to YouTube.
  • The Winamp joke was written by Spencer Gilbert. In the commentary, he conceded that most people wouldn't get it, but the people who would get it would love it. The writers call this sort of joke a "One-percenter" because potentially only 1% of people would get it.
  • Epic Voice Guy reveals more details about his complicated sexuality in this Honest Trailer. Epic Voice Guy apparently ships the pairing Symbrock (Symbiote/Eddie Brock) even going to far to say, "Epic Voicey Likey!" at the sight of Brock kissing She-Venom. This is not the first time Epic Voice Guy has expressed sexual attraction towards an alien species- he is also sexually attracted to Thanos. It is, however, the first time Epic Voice Guy has expressed attraction to a species so gooey.
  • Screen Junkies have also produced Honest Trailers for several other Spider-Man films, including the early-2000s trilogy starring Tobey Maguire, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, The Amazing Spider-Man, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Spider-Man: Homecoming and the 1970s Japanese Spider-Man TV series.

Watch the full Honest Trailer Commentary on YouTube

Reception[]

Honest Trailers - Venom has a 96.5% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Reviews of this Honest Trailer were mostly positive, with many sites highlighting Screen Junkies' comment that Venom should have been rated R, and also for humorously portraying the film as a romance between Eddie Brock and his Symbiote.

Screen Rant said the Honest Trailer was "surprisingly positive." The site wrote that the Honest Trailer's enthusiasm for the Symbrock pairing was "amusing." In the same article, Screen Rant highlighted Screen Junkies' complaints about the lack of an R-rating and the prevalence of science jargon. MovieWeb noted the Honest Trailer "also makes the point that we're running out of big-name Silver Age comic book heroes to adapt. So now, we're moving onto the 90s, which brings with it leather jackets and attitude." In the same article, Movieweb also noted, "this video positions the movie as a love story" and agreed that it should have been rated R. ComicBook.com made similar comments, writing that Screen Junkies "talk about everything you want to hear, from Spider-Man 3 to Symbrock shippers and the fall of Tumblr." The Geekiary called the Honest Trailer "delightful" and particularly praised its mention of the Symbrock pairing, writing, "Screen Junkies’ honest trailer for Venom gives the pairing the fame it deserves."

The Mary Sue wrote "The Honest Trailer for Venom delightfully highlights what’s bad about the movie—a dumb villainous plan, a bad CGI climactic battle—as well as what’s good: Eddie Brock and Venom’s storied love affair." In the same article, the site wrote that the Honest Trailer "zeroes in on what I believe is the precise reason for Venom‘s astonishing box office success," and "in a year where many of us craved some escape from reality, Venom arrived offering just that." In a similar vein, The Playlist suggested the Venom Honest Trailer was a cathartic summary of 2018 in general, writing:

The Honest Trailer for “Venom” can also be seen as a cathartic moment, with one of the most popular, but divisive, films getting the satirical treatment. It’s almost a way of looking at 2018 in our rearview mirrors and saying, “Boy, remember when we were obsessed with ‘Venom?’ It feels like years ago.” (Barfield, C. January 2, 2019, ‘Venom’ Honest Trailer: This Is What Happens When You Let Sony Play With Marvel’s Toys The Playlist)

Production credits[]

Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - Venom

Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - Venom

Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey

Title Design: Robert Holtby

Written by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell, Joe Starr, Lon Harris

Produced by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell, Joe Starr & Max Dionne

Edited by Kevin Williamsen and TJ Nordaker

Assistant Editor: Emin Bassavand

External links[]

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