X-Men Origins: The Wolverine is the 31st episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Ian Weinreich, Phil Rogers, Jason Pickar, Dan Murrell and Andy Signore. It parodies the 2009 superhero film X-Men Origins: Wolverine. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It was published on July 16, 2013, to coincide with the theatrical release of the film's sequel The Wolverine. It is 3 minutes 59 seconds long. It has been viewed over 8.0 million times.
Watch Honest Trailers - X-Men Origins: The Wolverine on YouTube
"Witness Marvel's most hardcore character get completely neutered in his own extremely boring movie. Watch as Wolverine's centuries of war are glossed over in one montage to instead make time for things no one wants to see Wolverine do: go on dates, chop wood, get stuck in traffic, and fumble around in the bathroom." ~ Honest Trailers - X-Men Origins: The Wolverine
Script
From the studio that nearly destroyed the X-Men franchise with The Last Stand (20th Century Fox) comes the film that destroyed your favorite X-Man: Wolverine.
Journey to 1970s Canada, where everyone dresses like it's 2009 and no one has a Canadian accent. Witness Marvel's most hardcore character get completely neutered in his own extremely boring movie. Watch as Wolverine's centuries of war are glossed over in one montage to instead make time for things no one wants to see Wolverine do: go on dates, chop wood, get stuck in traffic, and fumble around in the bathroom (shows Wolverine clumsily cutting through things with his claws in a bathroom).
And if you thought they could only ruin Wolverine, wait until you see what they did with Deadpool. The "Merc with a Mouth" gets his mouth removed and trades his cool costume for 8 Min Abs and magic eyeshadow. Oh, and he also gets a grab bag of random mutant powers that Deadpool never had. Are we sure Brett Ratner didn't direct this?
Get excited when they introduce fan favorite Gambit, then get immediately disappointed when you realize that he's only in the movie for five minutes. Instead, spend time with some of the lamest mutants you've never heard of: Wraith, Agent Zero, Bolt, and Silverfox...? Wow, Marvel, really scraping the bottom of the barrel, huh?
Prepare to learn the origin of boring Wolverine facts, like where he got his jacket and the super-boring story behind his nickname.
Kayla Silverfox: Trickster wanted the moon for himself, so he told Kuekuatsheu...
(fast-forwarding through the story) Blah blah blah blah blah.
Kayla Silverfox: ...means 'the wolverine'.
Ughhh, really?
Strap in for an action movie with effects so bad, it barely looks better than the leaked rough cut everyone pirated online, featuring this horrible CGI camera trick (shows the camera rapidly zooming across a field), this weird CGI ladder (shows Wolverine shredding a ladder to pieces with his claws), this awful CGI face lift (shows a younger-looking Charles Xavier), and unforgivably terrible CGI claws that somehow look worse than the first three X-Men movies.
So get ready to crank up the volume in one of the shoutiest films ever (shows clips of characters shouting). Ughhh, this movie sucks!
Starring Huge Jacked Man (Hugh Jackman as James "Logan" Howlett/Wolverine), Corn Chip Nail Tips (Liev Schreiber as Victor Creed), Generic Evil Colonel (Danny Huston as William Stryker), Pocawhocares? (Lynn Collins as Kayla Silverfox), Paula Deen (Kevin Durand as Fred J. Dukes/The Blob), Worse Than Green Lantern (Ryan Reynolds as Wade Wilson), Tim Riggins (Taylor Kitsch as Remy LeBeau/Gambit), William (will.i.am as John Wraith), Pa Kent (Max Cullen as Travis Hudson), and Dead Cyclops Arm Blades (Deadpool).
X-Men Origins: Wolverine.
Why can't you movie studios just get along (shows the logos for Walt Disney Pictures and 20th Century Fox)? America needs to see Wolverine fight The Hulk...right?
Trivia
- Screen Junkies have also produced Honest Trailers for several other movies in the X-Men franchise including Logan, the early-2000s X-Men trilogy, X-Men: Days of Future Past, X-Men: Apocalypse, Dark Phoenix, Deadpool, Deadpool 2 and X-Men: The Animated Series. The only X-Men movie they haven't covered so far is X-Men: First Class.
- An Honest Trailer Commentary for this episode was recorded and was available on the Screen Junkies Plus until the website/app was discontinued. Screen Junkies don't currently have any way of releasing the video.
Reception
Honest Trailers - X-Men Origins: The Wolverine has a 97.4% approval rating from YouTube viewers. IndieWire wrote the Honest Trailer was "amusing" and said it reminded them about "how bad the FX really were" and for pointing out "the numerous sideplayers introduced and ruined (Deadpool) or wasted (Gambit) to a main sibling rivalry plot was just plain bad." The Mary Sue wrote that the Honest Trailer was useful in lowering fan expectations for the upcoming The Wolverine.
Production credits
Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - Wolverine
Directed by Andy Signore
Executive Producer Mitch Rotter
Series Created by Andy Signore & Brett Weiner
Episode Written by Spencer Gilbert, Ian Weinreich, Phil Rogers, Jason Pickar, Dan Murrell and Andy Signore
Edited by Dan Murrell
Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey