Honest Trailers Anime - Attack on Titan is the 4th episode of Screen Junkies spinoff series Honest Trailers Anime. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the first season of the Japanese anime series Attack on Titan. It was first published on March 25, 2017. It was originally exclusive to the paid subscription service Screen Junkies Plus. However, due to Screen Junkies Plus being discontinued and the video not being reuploaded on another platform, the Attack on Titan Honest Trailer is no longer officially available and is considered a "lost episode". However, you can watch a short (20 second) snippet of the video here.
"The most realistic depiction of fighting 10-story flesh monsters you'll ever see... while still managing to squeeze a slice-of-life high school drama in between." ~ Honest Trailers Anime - Attack on Titan
Script[]
In a world that gives you more of the same anime tropes over and over again, comes a completely original concept: people flying around on wires, being chased by scary naked giants.
Attack on Titan
Enter a dystopia where the world is ravaged by huge dick-less nudists, as soldiers fight to protect humanity by sacrificing life and limb... literally, as they're taken apart, eaten, flung, smashed, and punched to a bloody mess, in the most realistic depiction of fighting 10-story flesh monsters you'll ever see... while still managing to squeeze a slice-of-life high school drama in between. Geez, and I thought my puberty was rough...
Journey to humanity's last outpost on the island of Paradis -- Proof that you can build all the walls you want; your problems are still going to find a way through. -- and join up with the world's coolest Border Patrol, as young recruits fight in 3D gear, the most unsafe, impractical flying device since the hydrogen blimp, in epic one-sided "David vs. Goliath" battles... if Goliath was naked and David was Spider-Man with a shiv.
Join the Survey Corps, a military faction searching for answers, with Armin, the level-headed tactician and all-around good guy; Mikasa, the femme fatale with godlike skills and a stalker-y obsession; Erwin, the commander of the Survey Corps, a nice guy, except for when he's sending people to their deaths; Levi, the second-in-command and heartthrob of the series, an elite fighter against dirt, grime, and teeth in your mouth; Eren, the punching bag protagonist who gets batted around by basically everyone (montage of Eren getting beaten); and the other members with paper-thin characters, or just there to be Titan fodder, in a series where a flashback of inspirational moments are basically a death flag. This guy looks like he's going to have a bright fu-- (shows a Scout getting crushed by the Female Titan) Aww, and there he goes...
Witness the colorful world of the Titans, where humanoid abominations have different features that make each one special and unique, such as... the ones that just have to dance (Abnormal Titans); ones with uncharacteristically nice hair (Bearded Titan and Moe Titan); that big one without any skin (Colossal Titan); that one that looks like a football jock (Armored Titan); that weirdly hot Titan (Female Titan) -- Shut up; you thought about it. -- that Heath Ledger Joker one (Smiling Titan); and a bunch of other adorable and quirky Titan boys. Aww! You're horrifying!
So put on your tiny green cape and ball your fist up in salute, then hold on for a gore-filled thrill ride, packed full of breathtaking animation and awe-inspiring battles, with an ending that leaves you with more questions than answers, as the next season wraps everything up in a neat bow, leaving you satisfied that you gave the series a chance. (record scratch) Not really, but how about a chibi school comedy, though? (Attack on Titan: Junior High) That's just as good, right? (shows Eren and some other students tripping over each other while running in terror as Mikasa lands gracefully) Okay, that's... that's pretty good.
Starring: Titanic Bitch (Yūki Kaji/Bryce Papenbrook as Eren Yeager/Attack Titan); Cirque du Soleil Ronda Rousey (Yui Ishikawa/Trina Nishimura as Mikasa Ackerman); Armin Hammer (Marina Inoue/Jessie James Grelle as Armin Arlert); Painfully Pointless (Kissho Taniyama/Mike McFarland as Jean Kirstein); Potato Girl (Yuu Kobayashi/Ashly Burch as Sasha Blouse); Dimestore Krillin (Hiro Shimono/Clifford Chapin as Connie Springer); Taylor Swift (Shiori Mikami/Bryn Apprill as Krista Lenz); Titan Fetishist (Romi Park/Jessica Calvello as Hange Zoë); Mads Mikkelsen (Daisuke Ono/J. Michael Tatum as Erwin Smith); and Mrs. Doubtfire (Hiroshi Kamiya/Matthew Mercer as Levi).
Saved by the Wall
The real Titans are those Mikasa abs, though! Am I right? (shows Mikasa working out, with a heavy focus on her ab muscles)
Trivia[]
- This video used to be exclusive to the paid subscription service Screen Junkies Plus. When that service was discontinued, this video was lost. It has not been officially re-uploaded to any platform. However, a low-res, unofficial version exists, if you know where to look... There's also a short 20 second snippet of the video on Screen Junkies's Twitter account.
- Screen Junkies also produced episodes of Honest Trailers Anime for Naruto, Tokyo Ghoul, Fairy Tail, One Piece, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, Bleach, Sword Art Online, One-Punch Man and Hunter x Hunter.
Reception[]
In their write-up on this Honest Trailer, ComicBook.com noted, "the folks over at ScreenJunkies know what anime fans like - and they are more than happy to poke fun at the medium when need be."
External links[]
- Attack On Titan Gets The Honest Trailer Treatment - ComicBook.com article